Episode 12: Checkpoint

Season Five, Episode Twelve

"Checkpoint"

It's time for a Scooby meeting! Giles was able to score some information about Glory from the council. Or at least will score some information once the council comes to Sunnydale to tell them what they've discovered. The world freaks out and Tara doesn't understand why because Watchers should just be like "other Gileses." However, before she learns how wrong she is, I'd like to point out how amazing she looks:

Look at her hair!

Everyone done swooning? Okay, good! Now Buffy goes back to freaking out saying that the council almost killed her and she doesn't want them here. And she does have a point. As Willow pointed out, the last time they tried to kill her they thought she was Faith but the time before that in Helpless? What was their excuse then? Buffy rehashing these stories worries Anya who doesn't believes that they will be ex-demon compatible.

Buffy continues freaking the hell out saying that it's a delicate time since she has to take care of Dawn...but, as Xander points out, she's always had to take care of Dawn. And then she freaks out more when she finds out Dawn was listening in but, as Willow points out, what's she gonna do? "set the Junior High buzzing with 'There's a delegation a-comin'?'"

We then switch over to Glory who has a killer migraine that can only be cured by sucking someone's brain. So basically just your run of the mill migraines that everyone get. Anyways, after she's cured she discusses with her ugly minion how she needs to find the key and she's going to use "Mousy the Vampire Slayer" to figure out where it is.

And now it's party time at The Magic Box! And there ain't no party like a Council party because a Council party, well, isn't any fun...

They start off their party by going through the store and pointing out everything wrong with it and which items should be removed. They then move onto the second stage of their grand ole' time: closing the store!

"Customers, please bring your money back!"

After Anya gets upset, the Council announces who they are and she very abruptly leaves. After, they announce that the reason for their visit is because they have vital, but delicate, information and they needs to do a review in order to know that Giles and "his Slayer" can handle it. But don't worry, Buffy has acquired "remarkable focus":

PROFESSOR ROBERTS: I assure you, there's near consensus in the academic community regarding Rasputin's death-

BUFFY: There was near consensus about Columbus too, until someone asked the Vikings what they were up to in the 1400's and they were like - "discovering this America-shaped continent."

Now this is a bit strong but Buffy does have a point. She's in college and has opinions and her suggesting to come at things from a different perspective should not have been made fun of so harshly by this professor. This gives us some insight as to how the Council review is going to unfold. These old academics believe they deserve respect because of the work they've put in. However, Buffy doesn't deserve the same respect because in their eyes she's just a student. Buffy keeps fighting with authority figures because it doesn't seem fair or right that they get respect because they've earned a title whereas she isn't warranted any because of the title given to her.

But don't worry, Buffy's going to take some of her anger out on the next vamp she meets; just like always. However, Spike ends up staking the vamp for her. Uh-oh, poor guy. Buffy is very angry and she didn't need his help! He made a boo boo by coming to her rescue.

We move over from angry!Buffy to grumpy!Ben. Glory's minion approaches Ben to ask that he gets closer to the Slayer since she would like more information on her. Ben doesn't think he knows the Slayer but once the minion tells him that her name is "Buffy something" it registers: Buffy Summers is the Slayer. However, I doubt he's going to be willing to help her. He announces that he has a message for Glory too and the screen cuts to black.

And now back to The Magic Box where Buffy walks in and sees the Council. She tries to leave since she's already had a bad day but they stop her. Everything is pretty boring with them explaining their stupid rules to her and what is going to take place. However, things get adorable when Giles gets angry and begins yelling at Travers saying that she's not their bloody instrument. Poor guy, he just wants to protect Buffy from these pricks but he holds no power over them. In fact, they announce how much power they hold over them by saying that, if they don't follow by their rules, they'll close The Magic Box and send Giles back to England. Again with annoying people with earned titles demanding Buffy's respect. How annoying...

GILES: It's a power play, is what it is. It's all about who has the power.
BUFFY: I'm guessing they do. Big power outage in Buffy County.
GILES: I should've set you loose on 'em, that's what I should've done.
BUFFY: Giles, that guy Travers, he's like sixty something years old. I can't hit him. Can I?
GILES: I suppose not. But I bloody well could. Think I will.
BUFFY: Can they really do the stuff they threatened to do? Kick you out of the country?

GILES: In a hot second. They're all right when it comes to the rough stuff, a little ham-handed but they get it done. But this stuff, bureaucracy, pulling political strings, paperwork... this is where they're the best in the world. They can kill you with a stroke of the pen. Poncy buggers.

This is a big issue within the entire series of Buffy and frankly all of Joss' work: power lies within the bureaucracy. What this means is that while Buffy and the scoobies hold knowledge about demons and have the ability to save the world and should hold the power, they don't because they don't have the paperwork to prove it. Welcome to the world where shit is really annoying most of the time.

We'll go back from this intensely informative moment into more adorableness: Buffy telling Giles that they worked the right angle with her because she can't lose him. D'awwwwwww.

Buffy ends by asking Giles where they're going to start and the answer to this is with the interogation of her friends! God, do I love this part!

Anya: Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, twenty years old. Born on the fourth of July, and don't think there weren't jokes about that my whole life, mister, 'cause there were. "Who's our little patriot?" they'd say, when I was younger, and therefore smaller and shorter than I am now.
Philip: (taking notes) So, you spell it A-N-Y-A, yes?
Anya: Yes.
Philip: Fine, now we can get to the questions.

Nigel: Good. I need to know a little bit more about the Slayer, and about the both of you. Your relationship, whatever you can tell me.
Tara: O-o-our relationship?
Willow: We're friends.
Tara: Good friends.
Willow: Girlfriends, actually.
Tara: Yes, we're girlfriends.
Willow: We're in love. We're ... lovers. (puts hand on Tara's knee) We're lesbian, gay-type lovers.
Nigel: I meant your relationship with the Slayer.
Tara: Um, just good friends.

Xander: Best friends. Willow and me and Buffy. The three of us have been together from the beginning. We've always gone on patrols, and uh, done demon research with her and everything.
Philip: Have you mastered any fighting disciplines over the years?
Xander: No.
Philip: So, you have no special skills, or powers, or knowledge that you bring to the mix. Neither of you.
Anya: Just enthusiasm for killing the demons. Go deadness for the demons.
Xander: I don't have any powers, but I do help.
Philip: How? Be specific.
Xander: Last year, uh, Willow, Giles and me combined our essences with Buffy, which isn't as weird as it sounds. (laughs nervously) We merged, and I was the heart part of a super-Buffy. Again, let me stress the not-as-weird thing.
Anya: I'm told it was all very professional.

Nigel: Are you saying that the Slayer needs that level of help from you often?
Willow: No, no, she doesn't need help.
Tara: She'd be fine without us. Sometimes she goes off and does stuff without even telling us.
Willow: Not that she's like a, a weird loner or anything.
Tara: I'm not sure we're saying this right.
Willow: See, here's the thing. We, we can help because we do magicks. I'm working on this ball of sunshine thing. See, I have this theory.
Tara: It's very cool.
Willow: A-and if it works, easier slaying for Buffy. Not that it's hard for her now!
Nigel: Interesting. What level are you at?
Tara: Level?
Nigel: Magical proficiency level?
Willow: Oh! Uh, high, a high level. Very high. One of those ... top levels.
Tara: Five!
Nigel writes this down as Willow and Tara give each other anxious looks. Willow mouths, "five??" and Tara shrugs.
Nigel: And you're registered as practicing witches under the names as you gave them to me?
Tara: R-registered?
Willow: Oh yes! Yes, of course we're-
Tara: ...r-r-registered.

Philip: Do either of you know anything about the key?
Anya: Nope, but it sounds demony to me. I don't hold with that demon nonsense. Muffin? I cooked them myself.
Philip: So, Buffy sometimes protects you from the dangerous elements of her work.
Xander: Yes. She's saved my life lots of times. The Vampires in this town hate her.

Watcher: We understand that you help the Slayer
Spike: I pitch in when she pays me.
Watcher: She pays you? She gives you money?
Spike: Money, a little nip of blood out of some stray victim, whatever.
Watcher: Blood?
Spike: Well, if they're gonna die anyway. Come to think of it, though, that's a bit scandalous, isn't it? Personally, I'm shocked. The girl's slipping.
Watcher: You've noticed a decline in her work?
Spike: Oh, yeah. See, the poor little twig can't keep a man. Gets her all down. Few more disappointments, she'll be cryin' on my shoulder, mark my words.
Watcher: Is that what you want? I'd think you'd want to kill her. You've killed Slayers before.
Spike: Heard of me, have you?
Watcher: I ... wrote my thesis on you.
So. Freaking. Hilarious.

Next we move onto the physical test where Buffy will be given instructions in Japanese. Which in other words means Buffy is screwed. After she epicly fails this task she asks for another chance saying she "might be getting this, like, inner ear thing, and so maybe, maybe if I got a note, I could try again." I love this line; apparently Buffy thinks she's at school or something saying she could get a doctor's note.

The last part of the test will be to look into Buffy's strategies. This section will begin tonight giving Buffy a few hours to "prepare." Or, you know, have a conversation with Glory in her living room.

Dawn once again proves she's an idiot when Glory brings her into the conversation. Buffy tells Glory that she knows nothing and Dawn interrupts saying that she knows stuff and she hears things she's not supposed to all the time and she'll figure it out eventually. *head desk* Dawn, why are you stupid? Buffy was trying to PROTECT you because you ARE the key!

After this conversation, Glory threatens to kill everyone Buffy loves while she watches which makes Buffy force Dawn and Joyce to pack their bags and take them over to Spike who is going to babysit them. The best part of this is when Joyce and Spike connect over Passions.

Back at The Magic Box, the Council morons are counting each minute Buffy is late because this is the most important thing ever. It's not as if she has a sacred birthright that sometimes forces her to need to fight evil things on her way to meetings.

However, through this surprise attack from the Knights of Byzantium, Buffy learns exactly how to get back at the Council.

Buffy: No review. No interrogation. No questions you know I can't answer. No hoops, no jumps -and no interruptions. See ... I've had a lot of people talking at me the last few days. Everyone just lining up to tell me how unimportant I am. And I've finally figured out why. (looks Travers in the eye) Power. I have it.
Buffy: Glory ... came to my home today.
Giles: (alarmed) Buffy, are you-
Buffy: Just to talk. She told me I'm a bug, I'm a flea, she could squash me in a second. Only she didn't. She came into my home, and we talked. We had what in her warped brain probably passes for a civilized conversation. Why? Because she needs something from me. Because I have power over her. You guys didn't come all the way from England to determine whether or not I was good enough to be let back in. You came to beg me to let you back in. To give your jobs, your lives some semblance of meaning. You're Watchers. Without a Slayer, you're pretty much just watchin' Masterpiece Theater. You can't stop Glory. You can't do anything with the information you have except maybe publish it in the "Everyone Thinks We're Insane-O's Home Journal." So here's how it's gonna work. You're gonna tell me everything you know. Then you're gonna go away. You'll contact me if and when you have any further information about Glory. The magic shop will remain open. Mr. Giles will stay here as my official Watcher, reinstated at full salary...
Giles: (coughing) Retroactive.
Buffy: ...to be paid retroactively from the month he was fired. I will continue my work with the help of my friends...
Watcher: I, uh, I ... don't want a sword thrown at me, but, but, civilians, I - we're talking about children.
Buffy: We're talking about two very powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon.
Anya: Willow's a demon?!
Philip: The boy? No power there.
Buffy: The boy has clocked more field time than all of you combined. He's part of the unit.
Willow: (whispers to Xander) That's Riley-speak.
Xander: (whispers back, with a big grin) I've clocked field time.
Buffy: Now. (addresses the Watchers) You all may be very good at your jobs. The only way we're gonna find out is if you work with me. You can all take your time thinking about that. (turns back to Travers) But I want an answer right now from Quinton, 'cause I think he's understanding me.
Travers: (clears throat) Uh, your terms are acceptable.

Yayyyyy

Then funniness happens when Travers tells Giles they found some alcohol when they were looking through his shop and he'd like a glass. Buffy tells him to wait until she hears about what kind of demon Glory is. But that's just the thing, Glory isn't a demon: she's a God.

Holy crap

Until next time!

-Sarah



Episode 11: Triangle

WHY HELLO MY LOVELIES! *hugs*

Aaaaaand we're off!

Season Five, Episode Eleven

"Triangle"

We start off with Xander and Anya discussing Riley. Just in case you all forgot, Riley went bye-bye very suddenly after giving Buffy an ultimatum. This leads Anya to tell Xander that if he ever decides to leave, she needs a warning that it's going to happen first. It's pretty adorable, actually. But ultimately she decides that this won't be necessary since it's about Buffy messing up and, last time I checked, Buffy wasn't included in Xander and Anya's relationship. But poor Buffy, she just doesn't know how to deal with a breakup by herself so she obviously goes to seek the lord's help. No, seriously:

BUFFY: So, um, a-about being a nun... (They begin to walk along together) you know, um, with the whole ... abjuring the company of men ... you know, how's that working for you? The... abjuring.
NUN: (confused) Um ... good.
BUFFY: Yeah, do you, do you have to be like super-religious?
NUN: Well, uh...
BUFFY: How's the food?

Raise your hand if you love Buffy's priorities.

Once she comes to learn that the lord's work isn't for her, she goes back to what she knows: beating up things. While she punches, Giles discusses how he plans on asking the council to help find information about Glory but promises not to include Dawn's name.

To get this information, Giles needs to leave to go to England. The scoobies have different opinions on how they feel about his departure...

"You're going away for a week? That's great! I get to run the store, right?"

"I'm envious, Mr. Giles. A trip to England sounds so exciting and exotic. Un...less you're English."

Giles still seems a bit uneasy about Anya running the store alone because of all the responsibilities including the trash and all. 

BUFFY: Look, don't worry about the shop. We'll take care of it. We can open and close, and, and we'll deal with everyone.
WILLOW: We can come by between classes! Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens ... but it's been pointed out to me that that's, you know, insane.
TARA: I said "quirky."
ANYA: (annoyed) Hello, I work here! I'll take care of everything.
XANDER: (not looking up from his reading) Yeah, Anya can do it!
ANYA: Thanks, sweetie. (pats him on shoulder) Well said.
GILES: Um, Anya, while, while I completely trust you uh, uh, to take care of the inventory and the money, um ... dealing with people requires a certain, uh ... finesse.
ANYA: (angry) I have finesse! I have finesse coming out of my bottom! I can completely lie to the health inspector. I can, you know, distract him with coy smiles, and, and bribe him with money and goods.
XANDER: See there? She'll be great.
WILLOW: Don't worry, Giles. I'll help her take care of everything. It'll be ship-shape. Better, it'll be shop-shape. (smiles)
ANYA: Xander, she's talking to Giles like I'm not here. Make her stop.
GILES: Perhaps I'd better call the airline...
WILLOW: I'm just trying to help out! Xander, tell her. (smacks Xander in the arm)
GILES: ...schedule an earlier flight back, excuse me.
ANYA: Tell her that I don't need her help.

XANDER: (to Buffy) So, how goes the slaying?

By now we should all be able to see why this episode is entitled "Triangle."

But enough about this crap, Joyce is out of her bathrobe!

After Dawn and Buffy finish teasing their mom, aka the woman with a hole in her skull, they both head to Buffy's room and have an adorable sister-to-sister conversation about Riley. It's nice but I'm not even going to discuss any of it because LOOK AT SPIKE:

SPIKE: (softly) Um ... there's something I got to tell you. About showing you Riley in that place. (deep breath) I didn't mean to ... (long pause) Anyway, I know you're feeling all betrayed - by him, not me. (The camera pans around and we see he is talking to a mannequin, which has no legs but wears a blue blouse and a blonde wig. It's set up on a block of stone so that it is about Buffy's height.) I was trying to help, you know. Not like I made him be there, after all. Actually trying to help you. Best intentions.
He gets a little agitated, paces a few steps away.
SPIKE: I mean, you know, pretty state you'd be in, thinking things are all right (moves back toward the mannequin) while he's toddling halfway round the bend. (Stares at the mannequin, gets madder) Oh, I'll insult him if I want to! I'm the one who's on your side! Me! Doing you a favor! (very angry) And you, being dead petty about it - me, getting nothing but your hatred and your venom and - you ungrateful bitch!
He loses control of himself, smashes the box of chocolates over the mannequin's head.
SPIKE: Bitch!
He hits the mannequin with the chocolates again and it falls over. The box of chocolate goes flying.

Spike sighs. He picks up the mannequin and replaces it. He carefully rearranges the wig, sighs again, picks up the box of chocolate, tries to stuff the chocolates back in. He composes himself and faces the mannequin again.
SPIKE: (quietly) Buffy ... there's something I wanted to tell you.

I have lost all faith in me getting this post to flow very well. The episode is amazing, but it jumps to different plot points way too much for me to think of enough catchy transitions so I just give up; here's Willow being hot.

But omg look at the cash register! Willow endangered the money!

WILLOW: Of course, that's what she cares about. (imitates Anya) "I like money better than people. People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services."
ANYA: (horrified) Xander, she's pretending to be me!
WILLOW: Well, can you even believe how she's acting?
XANDER: Okay, you know what? I'm tired of being the one in the middle. I'm not gonna let you pull me into this.
WILLOW: I'm not.
XANDER: Whatever the issue is between you two, just figure it out without me.

WILLOW: (softly) You made him mad.
ANYA: (angrily) Me?!
WILLOW: Tara, who do you think he was more mad at?
TARA: Um, you know? I think, uh, maybe, maybe you guys have some stuff you need to work out, you know, just really ... talk.

Who doesn't love Tara? 

After both her and Xander leave, Willow goes back to stealing Giles' merchandise in order to make a ball of light, a tiny ball of light.

While Willow brews, Anya spouts out prices of every ingredient being used. Before Willow starts the actual ritual, she tells Anya that it is very specific and any non-ritual word can disrupt it so she needs to be quiet. Let's see how well this works out:

WILLOW: Spirits of light, I invoke thee. Let the gloom of darkness part before you.
A small circlet of yellow-orange light arises out of the cauldron and begins to spin.
WILLOW: Let the moonlight be made pale by your presence. Spirits-
ANYA: Is it done?
WILLOW: Shh!!!
The circle of light flashes brighter and grows a bit larger.
WILLOW: Spirits of light, grant my wishes.
ANYA: Sorry, I thought you were done.
WILLOW: (angry) Do you wanna screw this up?
Willow turns away to yell at Anya. The circle of light grows bigger and brighter, and its spinning becomes less smooth. It continues to grow and twist crazily.
ANYA: No. No. I'm sure you can do that all on your own.
WILLOW: Hey Anya, whatever really has you mad, why don't you just say it, like you do every other thought that stomps through your brain?
ANYA: (stands up) I believe I have said it.
WILLOW: No. You haven't. Come on. Let it out! 

WILLOW: He's not a ball of sunshine.


Uh-oh...


The next scene makes me very happy because Tara and Buffy are talking together after their class. I looooooove their friendship and it isn't shown nearly enough. But anyways, that's not the point. The point is that Buffy's about to go insane:



BUFFY: (stops walking) Sort of. But I'm starting to get perspective on the whole situation. You know, maybe Riley's ... where he's supposed to be. You know, maybe he needed ... to be where he was needed.
TARA: Willow says that things always happen for a reason.
BUFFY: But you ever notice people only say that about bad things? (Tara laughs) But not for me the furrowed brow. (resumes walking) What do you say we go pick up Willow and indulge ourselves in a little after-school hamburger?
TARA: I guess we could. She might still be at the magic shop. I was there earlier, and she and Anya kinda got in this little squabble ... Xander and I sort of cleared out, he was pretty upset.
BUFFY: (stops walking, looks very concerned) Anya and, and Xander are in trouble?
TARA: Oh! No, I-I said that all wrong. It was nothing. Willow and Anya were sort of fighting, and then Xander kind of snapped at both of them and he left.
BUFFY: (alarmed) He left? Xander left Anya?
TARA: (frowning) Ummm ... no, not "left her" left her, he just left. It was only a little thing, it-
BUFFY: Little thing? (tearfully) See, the thing is, the ... little things get bigger, you know, and, and, and, and, if you don't catch the little thing and then, boom! You have this, this, this whole huge thing!
TARA: Oh dear.
BUFFY: (sniffling) Not, not, not them with the little things! They can't break up!
TARA: Oh, I think-
BUFFY: They have a beautiful love.
TARA: I think they'll be fine.
Buffy bursts into tears and puts her face against Tara's shoulder, hugging her. Tara looks alarmed, pats Buffy on the back.
BUFFY: (muffled) They have a miraculous love!
TARA: What?
BUFFY: (sobbing) A miraculous love!

And back to Anya and Willow who are driving in Giles car trying to find Olaf. Nothing can possibly go wrong with this plan.

"I'm gonna press the right pedal harder. I expect us to accelerate"

And now time for another duo I love: Xander and Spike. 

SPIKE: Hey, watch it. (looks at Xander) Oh, it's you.
XANDER: Spike, don't let me stop you from not being here.
SPIKE: I was here first, you know.
XANDER: Uh-huh. Go away. 

But he doesn't. Instead he talks with Xander about the chicken wings and "a sort of a flower-shaped thing they make from an onion" that's, in Spike's own words, brilliant. Keep this conversation in mind; we'll revisit it in 2 seasons.

Now back to Buffy and Tara. They both went to The Magic Box to find Willow only to find a big, big mess. This leads Tara to make my heart melt by saying, very sadly, "Buffy, something's been here and Willow's gone." 

After Tara causes the world to have a collective sad, we begin a series of conversations which lead to uncontrollable laughter. 

Lulz #1-

OLAF: Barmaid! Bring me stronger ale, and some plump, succulent babies to eat.
XANDER: I'm gonna run and get Buffy. (Pats Spike on the shoulder) Or maybe you could fight him.
SPIKE: Yeah, I could do that, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much.
OLAF: (pointing at Spike) You there! (walks up to Spike and Xander) Do you know where there are babies?
SPIKE: (to Xander) What do you think, the hospital?
XANDER: What? Shut up! (to Olaf) Um ... listen...
OLAF: I find myself very hungry. And when I'm hungry I grow short of patience.
XANDER: Well, we can take care of the hungry, so how's about you just sit down in one of the ... sturdier chairs, and we can ... have a calm talk and something to eat.
OLAF: Can it be babies?
XANDER: Well, not so much.
OLAF: (disappointed) Oh.
XANDER: But maybe ... some roast pigs, and ... stags, and ... much hearty grog. (grins nervously)
SPIKE: They've got this onion thing... 

Lulz #2-
WILLOW: I wish Buffy was here.
The door opens again and Buffy runs in, followed by Tara.
BUFFY: I'm here.
Willow looks surprised.
WILLOW: I wish I had a million dollars. (The others look at her) Just checking.

Lulz #3-

BUFFY: (looks at Olaf) What's going on? Where did he come from?
Spike steps forward, looking nervous.
SPIKE: Hello, Buffy.

Lulz #4-

WILLOW: Uh, let the conjuring be-
OLAF: Stop!
WILLOW: Nobody lets me finish!

After all of our lulz, we learn a new interesting fact about Anya: she dated a troll! Only he wasn't a troll then, she turned him into a troll after he cheated on her thus getting setting her on her new vengeance demon career path.

Oh, look, more lulz!


BUFFY: What are you doing?
SPIKE: Making this woman more comfortable. (looks up at Buffy) I'm not sampling, I'll have you know. Just look at all these lovely blood-covered people. I could, but not a taste for Spike, not a lick. Know you wouldn't like it.
BUFFY: (amazed) You want credit for not feeding on bleeding disaster victims?
SPIKE: Well, yeah.
BUFFY: You're disgusting. (Walks away)
SPIKE: (to himself) What's it take?

Buffy instructs Willow and Anya to go to The Magic Box to look up a spell to stop Olaf. It's here that we get to the real heart of the issue between the two of them:

WILLOW: You're so rude! I mean, sure, at first, ex-demon, doesn't know the rules. Well, you been here forever. Learn the rules.
ANYA: Rules are stupid.
WILLOW: Great, whatever. I just thought you might be interested in learning to act more human. Some of us enjoy it. Oh, look for, uh, spells with dimensional portals too.
ANYA: I am a human. And there are ... many humans who are stranger than me.
WILLOW: Uh-huh, but, unless I'm really wrong about crazy Larry down at the bus stop, he's probably not gonna turn Xander into a troll.
ANYA: Well, now, that's a very complicated proced... (pauses) Oh. You think I'm gonna hurt Xander? I would never hurt Xander! You really think I would do that!
WILLOW: Anya, it's what you do. You spent what, a thousand years hurting men? You got your "thousand years of hurting men" gold watch.
ANYA: I was a demon then, and, and I don't even have any powers now! Is this the spell? 
WILLOW: Only if you want him to double in size, and grow extra arms, which ... let's not. A-and by the way, you weren't a demon when you turned Olaf into Lord of the Hammers. You managed that. Also, there's ... other ways to hurt Xander.
ANYA: I don't do magic now. You're the one with that kind of power. In fact, D'Hoffryn offered you my old job. You're closer to being a vengeance demon than I am, maybe Xander should be afraid of you.
WILLOW: Xander's my best friend!
ANYA: Oh, and you don't want anyone else to have him. I know what broke up him and Cordelia, you know. It was you! And your lips!
WILLOW: No it was not! Well, yes it was so, but ... that was a long time ago. Do you think I'd do that again?
ANYA: Why not?
WILLOW: Well, hello, gay now.
ANYA: But you're always doing everything you can to, to point out how much I'm an outsider. You've known him since you were squalling infants together. You'll always know him better than I do. You could sweep in and, and poison his mind against me.
WILLOW: You're insane! I am not gonna take him away and I am not gonna hurt him.
ANYA: Well, I'm not either!

Look how loved Xander is! Both Anya and Willow want him to be happy but are uneasy about the other and their ability to hurt Xander. This is all well and good and should make perfect sense to everyone. I think this dialogue is important, but I don't want to discuss it. What I want to discuss is Willow's line saying she's "gay now." I think I've mentioned before here that I've done my fair share of large research papers on Willow's sexuality and I have actually found a piece that discusses this line in particular:

Similarly Willow’s ‘Hello? Gay now’ to Anya (‘Triangle,’ 5.11) not only recalls there was once a time that Willow was not gay, but raises the possibility that there may also be a time in the future where she may not be. Hello? Gay now. It’s notable, then, that those moments in which Willow seems to articulate her sexual identity most clearly also contain the possibility of their own failure. Willow’s equivocations contain not only an ambivalence toward directly expressing a gay identity, but also the possibility for a more fluid sexual identity.” (McAven, 2007)

This is a very interesting point but, personally, I don't really find it true for Willow's character. I believe that Willow, once falling in love with Tara, would close herself off from seeing herself as anything but 100% gay calling past heterosexual urges "mistakes" or any other words of her choosing which indicate that the action will never happen again. I think this because I believe that Willow can't half ass anything and she, rightly or wrongly, would consider being bisexual or any other terms that fall within the binary of sexuality (such as sexuality fluid, pansexual, etc.) half ass. So, when I hear this line, I believe that Willow is 1) making light of her sexuality and 2) showing her confidence in her identity. I do this crap all the time with people because it's fun.

Anyways, moving on: Xander comes in and (amazingly) battles Olaf without getting himself killed. As his reward, Olaf allows for one of his women to be spared. However, he refuses to choose saying that forcing him to make this decision is "crazy troll logic." Luckily for him, it's Buffy to the rescue! Anya informs Buffy that his strength is in his hammer. But this:

isn't the hammer

Some action occurs, Buffy beats Olaf, Willow sends him to another dimension, blah blah blah. I always find it amusing how, whenever I write these posts, I always start to half ass it and not care about elaborating on the end of the episode, which usually is the biggest moment of a story. I think this just further proves that Buffy isn't about the ending; it's all about the journey. [/stupid cliche]

Oh, and we can't forget Giles coming back to a huge ass mess! Poor guy...
And Dawn overhears Giles, Buffy, and Joyce talking about her. Poor girl...

See you all next week!
-Sarah

We Have to Stop Meeting Like This

And you thought you were done with these little messages, huh? Sorry folks, I got some good news and bad news for you. Bad news, no new Wits today =/ Good news, I have my full class and work schedule so I'm here to give you a legit schedule that I MUST FOLLOW unless I don't want to/get too busy/get tired.

So here we go! I promise to you guys, based off my work and school schedules, that I will be able to post my next three episodes by the following dates: September 14th, 21st, and 28th.

If something comes up and I can't get a post up by these dates, I won't post an update like this (because they're lame) so just 1) keep checking this website, 2) check our facebook, or 3) eat some cookie dough.

Again, We're so sorry the schedule is all stupid and annoying but if you wanna get some more from us, why not leave us a comment saying how much you miss us? We like reading that people like us because it doesn't happen often.

SEE YOU WEDNESDAY!
-Sarah