Episode 1: Buffy vs. Dracula

And so we begin our journey through season five with the horrendously aweful episode

Season Five, Episode One

"Buffy vs. Dracula"

If you were wondering what this season was going to be about, look no further than the teaser. We see here Buffy sleeping next to Riley, yet seeming very distant from him. She then gets up and chases after a vampire who's running away from her. She keeps going until she catches him and he turns to dust and then she gets back into bed with Riley without him ever knowing that she left. If you've already seen this season, you should be able to see the parallels between this teaser and the season. If not, don't worry, you will soon.

Next scene we're at a beach with Buffy and Riley playing catch. Riley quickly becomes an idiot and tells Buffy, who has declared herself "team me", that she throws like a girl. But don't worry, he gets what he deserves from making a sexist joke.

Hanging back watching them play are the rest of the scoobies with an epicly hilarious conversation:

XANDER: I'm exhausted just looking at those two. The splashing and the jumping and the running… Shouldn't relaxing involve less exertion?
ANYA: Absolutely. Exertion can lead to sweatiness.
TARA: Which can cause the pain and heartbreak of stinkiness. Better to just stay put.
WILLOW: I think we've just put our finger on why we're the sidekicks.

I totally agree with them though. Which is why I don't leave my house unless I absolutely have to and live primarily on the internet. Anyways, back to our show...

Riley comes back to join the gang, declaring that Buffy slayed the football, and the two of them ask Xander for their burgers. However, since Xander fails at most aspects of life, he can't figure out how to work a match. Luckily Willow's there to help. She starts a fire with magic and explains how you just have to make sure messing with one element doesn't affect...

...another (Willow: "I didn't do it!")

In an attempt to get a bit nerdy, Giles and Willow set out to achieve his entire library on his computer. Willow comments on how he's been project man for a while now and Giles tells her not to repeat what he's about to tell her, especially not to Buffy:

GILES: Do you swear?
WILLOW: Oh God… I guess. Now that I know there's something to know -I can't not know just because I'm afraid someone will know I know, you know?
GILES: Did you mean yes?
WILLOW: Yeah…
GILES: We're doing all this because I want you and the others to have everything you need at your fingertips. You see, I'm going back to England.
WILLOW: You're - what? But you can't. You're Buffy's watcher. I mean, in a fired way.
GILES: It's become quite obvious that Buffy doesn't need me anymore. And I don't say that out of self pity, I'm quite proud, actually.
WILLOW: But what about the rest of us? We still need to be watched. Personally, I can't get through a day without a little hairy eyeball.
GILES: I appreciate the sentiment, but it's just not so. You'll be fine. You all will. (kindly) And we'll stay in touch. You can call me whenever you like.(off her silence) It's time from me to get on with it, Willow. I need to find out what's next for me - and England's my home.
WILLOW: When are you going to tell Buffy?
GILES: Soon.

Sadface. But don't worry, he's not leaving yet!

But you know who is leaving: Buffy. She leaves dinner with her mom to go patrol. And here's where the weirdness starts. On this hunt, she runs into a vampire. One named Dracula.

Buffy: "Get out!"

They talk for a bit until they reach an interesting topic:

DRACULA: I came to meet the renowned killer.
BUFFY: I prefer the term "Slayer." "Killer" just sounds so…
DRACULA: Naked?
BUFFY: Like I paint clowns or something. I'm the good guy, remember?
DRACULA: Come now. You can't deny your history.
BUFFY: What do you mean, history? I hail from a long line of white hats, period.
DRACULA: Perhaps. But your power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it.

Remember this conversation and we proceed onwards.

However, there conversation ends soon after this with him pulling a Snape and turning into a bat.

Back at Casa de Giles, they discuss Dracula. This conversation ranges from Buffy, Willow, and Anya talking about the sexiness of him while Tara questions Willow's interest in the Y chromosome again to Willow trying really hard to make Giles feel as if he needs to stay in Sunnydale to Riley getting thirsty to make the kill before his girlfriend falls in love with another vampire.

On his way home, Xander runs into his new master. Dracula makes Xander his bitch emissary; his eyes and ears in daylight. So, basically, he's now one of Dracula's deatheaters. If Voldemort choose deatheaters as horribly as Dracula is, no wonder he was killed.

And next, as if Joss was able to hear Kali's cries for some sexy vampire action, Spike and Riley have a little conversation about Dracula. He spills about how much of a "poncy bugger" Dracula is and tells Riley to look for him in some luxarious places since he's too good to live as other vampires do. Well, he actually tells Riley not to look for him since this is a bit out of his league. They then have a testosterone contest that ends with Riley leaving Spike mid warning:

 SPIKE: (calls after) You're never gonna find him (softer)

Not before he gets to her…

And now we get a reenactment of Angel/Buffy's relationship with Dracula creepin into Buffy's room while she sleeps. Speaking of Angel, Dracula sees his bite marks on her neck. He takes a bite out of her and sucks her dry. Thus concluding this episode and the series. It's been fun folks!

Oh, wait, you're telling me he stops drinking her blood before she dies? This episode isn't over? Ugh, how irritating...

The next day, after Buffy covers up her vampire hickey with a scarf, they head to Giles' place where both she and Xander act strange. Willow, Riley, and Giles are all set in research mode while she is distant and feeling guilty about her act of adultery and Xander is angry over the fact that he wasn't blessed with any such acts from the Unholy Prince.

Buffy leaves and Riley follows her out, asking her to take off her scarf. Here's a good rule to go by: when you're job requires you to come into contact with vampires often, wearing a scarf randomly around your neck one day will probably lead to some questions.

Willow and Tara go over to Buffy's house to put up a protective spell to lock Dracula out (another throw back to Angel). This task leads to a hilarious conversation with Joyce:

JOYCE: He seemed so nice and normal… A little pale…
WILLOW: A good Sunnydale rules of thumb? Avoid white-skinned men in capes.
JOYCE: I didn't - he was in a suit. A lovely suit… He came by the gallery, and he was amazingly well informed about art history-
TARA: Probably because he was around for most of it.
JOYCE: I want you both to know, I am not like this. I do not invite strange men over for coffee. It's just , it's been way too long. Since I met anybody. You know, someone even remotely interesting. When you girls get older, you'll understand. It's hard to date. Sometimes you feel like giving up on men altogether.

And now it's showtime! Riley and Giles head to find Dracula while Anya talks Xander's ear off about how she should have been included. But he's not listening to her at all and instead locks her in a closet and tells Buffy the plan.

I'm supposed to deliver you to the Master now. There's this whole deal where I get to be immortal… Are you cool with that?

Xander takes Buffy to Dracula and she stakes him until he turns to dust! Ha, just kidding. He tells her to put the stake down and she does exactly what he says.

Luckily, Riley and Giles find the place where Dracula must be hiding. Apparently he decided to bring a mansion with him to Sunnydale. Very discrete.

So many lulz...

BUFFY: Stay away from me…
DRACULA: Are you afraid I'll bite you? Slayer, that's why you came.
BUFFY: No… last night was… That's not gonna happen again.
DRACULA: Stop me. Stake me.
BUFFY: I'm… any minute now…
DRACULA: Do you know why you can't resist?
BUFFY: 'Cause you're famous?
DRACULA: Because you do not want to.
BUFFY: My friends are -
DRACULA: They're here. They will not find us. We are alone. Always… alone. There is so much I have to teach you. About your history, your power… What your body is capable of…
BUFFY: I don't… need to know…
DRACULA: You long to. And you will have eternity to discover yourself. But first… a little taste.
BUFFY: I won't… let you…
DRACULA: I didn't mean for me.
[...]
BUFFY: I'm not hungry.
DRACULA: No. Your craving goes deeper than that. You think you know. What you are, what's to come… you haven't even begun. (Restless falshback!) Find it… the darkness…. Find your true nature.

Buffy listens to him and drinks his blood. But I'm sure her reaction is not what he was expecting from her: "That was really gross." And, suddenly, she has her power back.

DRACULA: What is this…? BUFFY: My true nature. Wanna taste? 

During this time, hilarity ensues. We'll hear all about it in this closing conversation:

XANDER: Where is he? Where's the creep who turned me into his spider-eating man bitch!? (Favorite Line) I've got a flaming enema with his name on it-
BUFFY: He's gone.
XANDER: Damn it!.. You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats the insects and gets the funny syphilis! As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey!!
BUFFY: Check. No more butt monkey.
RILEY: It could have been worse. At least you weren't making time with the Dracubabes like Giles here.
XANDER: No kidding? You got tranced?
GILES: I did not. And I was not making time! I - I was just about to kill those loathsome creatures when Riley interrupted me-
RILEY: Really? You were gonna nuzzle 'em to death?

After this hilarity, Buffy and Giles have a serious conversation. Giles called her over to talk with her about leaving, but Buffy has to tell him something too. She tells him about the darkness she is sensing in herself and asks Giles to teach her about where she comes from and about the other Slayers. All in all, she asks him to be her Watcher again because she can't do it without him. And, suddenly, Giles has nothing to tell her anymore.

And we end our episode just as we would any other: Buffy is leaving to meet Riley and Joyce tells her to take "her sister" with her. Now, I know what you all must be thinking...

Damn, Harriet the Spy grew up good.

Does Gossip Girl know that Georgina is in Sunnydale?

WHEN DID BUFFY GET A SISTER?!?
WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?

-Sarah

Kali's Notes:
-I don't have much to add mostly because I really dislike this episode. For such a great season, the first 2 episodes suck hard. Although they set up SO MUCH for the season and the series, I wish this wouldn't have involved Dracula and Buffy staking him, but then not really and everything being weird. I just felt like everything was so weird in this episode and I didn't like it!
- I actually watched Buffy when it originally aired starting at about Season 4. When I saw this episode I was so freaking confused and thought that I must have missed something when all of the sudden Buffy had a sister. At least it gets explained early on in the season and not at the very end. But still, way to throw that in there and confuse the hell out of everyone!
- Favorite line: Xander: I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey!!

Season Four Recap

I'm currently in a state of confusion since I'm typing up this recap while listening to the Once More, With Feeling soundtrack but it's too good to turn off so I'm just going to have to deal. So here's the deal with this recap since we haven't ever done a season recap in non-video form. Sarah gets to make the rules since she's the one currently typing this *evil laughter*

So I'm going to set everything up with Sarah's answers in blue and Kali's in bronze (I asked Kali what color she wanted and she said she'd "like bronze. Ravenclaw colors ftw!" so there you go...) 


We're going to format our discussion as we usually do our videos, except with not as much conversation between us and more of us just each writing our own answers (and taking the time to think about what our answers are as opposed to 45 minutes of unused footage.)


So, let's begin with...


Season Four Summed Up
Season four is one of my favorite seasons of Buffy because of how much growth our characters go through individually, yet still learning how to find their way back to each other. Obviously, I love Willow's arc through this season. I adore Tara and believe this arc was handled near perfectly (which is saying something since my main area of interest is sexual and gender identity issues and how they are shown within the media.) But apart from Willow, this season was beautifully done because it was incredibly real. Yeah, everything in Buffy has a supernatural twist but season 4 is the first that really deals with life changes as a cause for turmoil and distruction as opposed to just the Big Bad of the season. This season dealt with changes from high school to college in terms of identity, family, relationships, etc. Everyone learned and everyone became a better person because of this season.

I'm with Sarah about how this season really shows a lot of individual character growth, which is pretty much what happens when you leave high school. You have to learn to be your own person outside of your group dynamic. Outside of high school, Willow discovers her sexual identity. Buffy learns that she's not the big man on campus anymore in the first episode, but still finds her way in the first half of this season. She really backs away from her Slayer duties this year. Just think back to how few of times we saw her in a cemetary compared to the past 3 seasons. Xander is still searching for his place by the end of this season, but he has matured by leaps and bounds this season with the help of his relationship with Anya. While they have a very odd relationship, it's actually perfect for both of them. Giles has been a Watcher his entire life and is at first enjoying a life of leisure but that gets old fast so he tries to figure out what exactly he should do now. I feel like this season is a perfect set-up to season 5. Everyone has grown and grown apart through the whole season, but finally come together at the end. Now we will see what our characters do with all of these developments next season.

Favorite Season Four Moment
I wonder what I'm going to choose...

Still very funny

It's cheating to say the whole Willow/Tara storyline so, if I have to choose one moment, I think I'd choose Tara telling Willow that she's hers. This moment is a good summation of their relationship and the high level of adorableness it contains.

I don't really have a favorite scene. I do love when Tara tells Willow that she hers. I also have always loved when Faith is in Buffy's body and tells Spike how she'll make him pop like warm champagne.

Who Are You has some really great moments in it.

Favorite Episode

New Moon Rising & Who Are You

First episode should be very obvious since I wrote all about my love for it in my post. But, if you missed that post or tried to read it but lost interest because of the number of times I mentioned how much I adore Willow, the basic reason why I love this episode is because it's very realistic. It's common for friends and family to react as Buffy has (or worse) and for the person coming out to not actually say that they're coming out but rather just suggest it as Willow did. This scene alone could make this episode one of my favorites, but I also really enjoyed the Oz storyline and how Willow was the only thing that made him lose control of his wolfyness and Tara's with her telling Willow that she'd be there for her whether she was just a friend or something more.

Who Are You is also awesome because I enjoy Faith a lot and I think her transformation throughout the episode is really sad and well done. At first, she was just mocking and messing with Buffy's life, but then she really learned who she could be if she were treated as Buffy is. And, on the flip side, Buffy learned about how Faith is treated and really didn't learn much of anything...

I won't cheat and pick two like Sarah did (mostly because my second would also be Who Are You) and I will go with Restless. I think it's pretty obvious how much I love when Joss writes dreams for the characters in the show. And it's not just the amazing dialogue and symbolism in this show, but the visuals and the lighting and all of the cinematography. It's hard to pick a favorite episode for this season because while I think this season as a whole isn't very cohesive in theme or elements, I think it has some of the best individual episodes of the whole series. That's probably why I season itself isn't great in following a theme each episode because each episode stands alone in awesomeness.

Favorite Quote:

Do you guys remember when we used to do favorite quotes for each episode? I guess sort of forgot this time around; we'll have to remember to bring it back for season five. Anyways, to figure this out, I'm going to use wikiquote *looks* THIS IS TOO HARD! Okay, to solve this issue, I'm having a favorite from each person.

*Anya:  I like you. You're funny and you're nicely shaped. And, frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.

*Oz:  (Xander: I could've been God.) Blasphemer.

*Willow: (investigating the professor's death in Pangs) No. She cut off her ear, then killed herself, then dumped the body--I'm really off my game, aren't I?

*Buffy: Giles, Faith has taken my body and for all I know she's taken it to Mexico by now. I don't have time for bondage fun.

*Xander: Sometimes I think about two women doing a spell, and...then I do a spell by myself.

*Giles: A watcher scoffs at gravity!

*Tara: I am you know (Willow: what?) yours

I'm such a cheater...

Yes you are! And it hurts my feelings that you didn't do a Spike quote Sarah, so just for that I will pick 3 favorite Spike quotes for Season 4!

From Something Blue- Spike: Oh, pouty! Look at that lip.. gonna get it.. gonna get it..
From Primeval- Spike: Well, then everything's all right.  And we all get to be not staked through the heart.  Good work, team.

From Superstar- Spike: Someday sweet slayer." [He puts a hand on Buffy's hair.]  "I would love to take you on."  [He moves his hand to her neck and just below her throat.] "See you face the evil alone for once."

Kali's right! I forgot to include Spike's because I didn't have to look one up for him on wikiquote! Favorite Spike line: A Bear! You made a Bear! Undo it, undo it!

How Seaon Four Ranks with One, Two, and Three

For me, it goes in reverse numerical order with Four being first and One last. I really don't love One or Two but Three and Four are pretty amazing. Four beats Three though because Each episode is awesome in Four whereas I felt Three wasn't great until the second half.

I agree with Sarah (big surprise there). Like I said above, Season 4 doesn't really have a good flow or cohesive theme throughout other than growth, but it has some really amazing individual episodes (Hush, Restless, Who Are You, etc). Season 3 on the otherhand I see as one giant linked season with no episodes that really stood out on their own, but when looked at altogether made a pretty good season.

How Excited Are We For Season Five

So excited I just wanna hug everybody!

Kali is so excited she wants to do a happy dance (and yes that excitement is partly because of how FREAKING AWESOME Spike's story is this season):