Episode 1: Anne

Before we start the third season, let me share a conversation I had with Kali while watching this episode: Me- This episode is part boring/dull and part adorable/awesome. Kali- I feel like that's a good description of season 3.

I felt like this was too funny not to share. Not hating on Season 3, but in our opinions Buffy is best post-high school, especially Seasons 4-6. But enough with this, on to the episode!

Season Three, Episode One

"Anne"

“That’s right big boy. Come and get it”

We start our season  off with AX, Willow, and Oz slaying vampires. I know, this sounds really funny without Buffy being there. That's because it is really funny. Willow tries using puns and wit because Buffy used to and Oz tries throwing the stake to slay a vampire only to fail miserably. AX mentions how pathetic they are and mentions Buffy using the past tense which causes Willow to freak out and remind him about the "past tense rule." I really love her.

In order to get the full affect of this scene, we need to step out of being viewers and become these characters. They don't know that Buffy's been gone because they were taking a break between seasons and that Buffy will be back now that the newest season has begun. It's difficult for me to grasp the fact that they have no idea whether or not they will ever see their friend again and I have no idea how horrible this must feel to them all. It makes me feel really bad for them and really dislike Buffy.

We end up seeing Buffy on a beach with Angel which is obviously a dream but this scene doesn't do anything to make me dislike Buffy less. I understand you loved him but you're a teenager and you knew him for around 6 months before he lost his soul so why would you choose him over your friends? But I digress, the real issue is how the hell did Buffy go for so long without having evil to defeat?! What, you move 30 minutes outside of Sunnydale and there's no evil at all? Why the hell are Slayers such a big deal then?

SO MANY PEOPLE IN THE LIBRARY!

School is back in session which means Willow back in the library because she has a super human thirst for knowledge (anyone up for a Friends reference? No? *Sigh* fineeeee.) Willow runs into Cordelia on her way out of the library and she freaks out over whether or not AX is still into her. They both are so strange, they freak out so much and obviously care about each other but then once they see each other they act stupidly and start arguing. Teenagers are so strange...However, my favorite part is when Cordelia is talking to Willow, questioning whether AX met anyone saying how can he since they're only monsters;“but then again he’s always been attracted to monsters…” lolz.

So we know how AX and Willow are coping with Buffy, but what about Giles? We see him get off the phone with an apparent lead from Oakland and he rushes to catch a plane. We learn from AX that this has happened numerous times. Poor Giles :(

Oh, I forgot to mention one of the most important parts of this episode; oops. So Buffy is going by Anne, her middle name, and working in a diner. She waits on this couple, Lily and Rickie who are stupid teenagers in "love." Before I continue on, I must first rant about why I dislike teenagers in relationships so much. It isn't because I don't believe that love and real relationship need to happen only when you're older, but teenagers throw around words all the time and it's beyond irritating. Buffy and Angel, yeah, you were getting to the point where you can say "I love you" because you were together for a long time and you knew each other well. Random high schoolers dating for less than a week, they aren't in love. This stuff really irks me so I feel the need to clear it up before I continue sounding like a love-hating person. And now we can go back to the episode...

Lily, who used to be Chantarelle, recognizes Buffy and tells her she won’t rat her out. They talk as they walk down the street and I have little interest in what's being said. We get the main point, both of these girls are hurting and feel lost and change their identities in hopes that this will fix their problems and they can recreate themselves.

Back in Sunnydale, Willow is being adorable:

Fun Fact: I spent 45 minutes looking for a GIF of this

Giles goes to Joyce upon returning and tells her that she shouldn’t blame herself and she says she blames him! This shit is getting irritating. We learned in the last episode from Whistler that no one asks for life to change but it's what you do after those changes and EVERYONE IS BEHAVING STUPIDLY! Buffy ran away? Joyce blames Giles? SERIOUSLY?!?!

Lily asks Anne to help her find Rickie because “that’s what [Buffy] does” is help people. Anne refuses at first but she goes anyway. They start at the blood bank (why don't vampires come here to eat?)

Buffy: This will probably go faster if we split up? Lily: Can I go with you? Buffy: Okay, where did I lose you on the whole splitting up thing?

Just before I start to become bored, Buffy finds Rickie but he's dead and around 80 years old. She tells Lily that she “can’t close her eyes and hope that it goes away” and that she’s going to have to deal with it. The entire time was everyone else laughing and wondering why Buffy can't just listen to her own advice?

Buffy goes to blood drive and the nurse lady says she gives "them" the names of the healthy ones. Buffy then goes to the place where they reside but it's too later and they already have Lily. Which, by the way, how stupid do they expect all of these kids to be? They freaking ask them to change into a hospital gown and take a dip in a vat of disgusting black tar looking shit! And people don't catch on and run the hell away from them?!?

Black tar spa treatments are all the rage in LA!

Before we continue onward, I'm just going to leave this here...

What a cool way to get AX and Cordelia back together without being irritating for another 3 hours!

Back in Hell (lol), Lily keeps saying how she always knew she was going here. Ken makes her feel great about herself by agreeing. He then goes on to talk about Rickie by saying “he remembered [Lily's] name years after he had forgotten his own.” Now, I’m sure this is meant to be romantic, but all I could think was that this was obviously because Lily’s name was effing tattooed on his arm.

Bottom line and the major point of this episode is that you can't hide from who you are. Buffy tries but she ultimate goes back to her roots because, like Harry, she has a saving people thing. All the gross looking demon minions try making all the teenagers who are dressed like house elves say that they're nobody and Buffy refuses. She says that she's Buffy the Vampire Slayer; she can't hide this fact. She can never be no one because she knows exactly who she's supposed to be.

Now epic fights ensues until Ken stops everyone and I love how stupid Joss makes bad guys at times. Like he’s giving this hugely epic speech proclaiming his power and Lily pushes him because he’s retarded and was giving this speech over a ledge, practically begging for her to push him. What a moron.

Buffy kills Ken, in one of the most grossest ways possible. A gate falls on him, piercing his feet and she beats his head after asking if he wants to see her impression of Gandhi because “well, you know, [Gandhi] was really pissed off.” Buffy sort of needs to attend history class again to learn about Gandhi after she's done being a badass....

After learning her lesson, Buffy decides to go back home and leaves Lily with her place, job, and name. Another reason why I love Joss: he brings her back in Angel  and we see that she’s doing okay.

Back in Sunnydale, I have no idea what Joyce is fixing with the dishwasher completely full of dishes but she gets up from all the hard work she was doing and gets the door and her and Buffy are reunited once more.

D'awwww

Favorite Line: “I don’t even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one” - Buffy

-Sarah!

Kali's Notes:
- I had trouble wanting to watch this episode again and I realized why while I was watching it: The heart of Buffy is the relationships. Buffy on her own (as a character or as a show) isn't good. At the end of Season 2, she felt like all that she had left was herself but after everything she goes through in this episode she starts to realize how important her friends are.
- We see just how courageous The Scooby Gang is. Even though they have no obligation to do so, they go out fighting vampires because somebody has to do it. GO SCOOBIES!
- I have to point out that Willow's hair keeps getting shorter every season. She is totally part of my hair revolution. Also, Giles has new glasses and they make him look foxy.
- A couple contradictory TV tropes I want to point out. The police siren in the distance always seems to signify living in the "ghetto", which annoys me to being with. Then we see Buffy working in a diner, getting her ass slapped by a trucker guy. Where are we? Inner city or out in the country? PICK A PLACE, GUYS!
- Buffy, don't roll your eyes at them. Pie is totally more healthy than cake. Pie has fruit.
- I really appreciate Giles more and more. He's relentlessly following leads on where Buffy might be, never giving up on trying to find. Of course, then Joyce ruins my happy moment with Giles by being A BIG MEAN POOPY HEAD! Seriously, of all the people to blame, Giles is not one of them. You know how you said you don't blame yourself? Well you should, you threw her out. "I'm not going to blame myself because I'm going to blame the other parental figure in her life because I can't deal with the fact that she treated him more like a parent than me."
- I really like how this show portrayed the situation of teenage runaways. It's not believable for every teenager that runs away from home to be like Buffy, where she finds a nice place to stay and a steady job, so they showed the situation of your "average" runaways- living on the streets, not having money to buy food, shady people (demons in this case) taking advantage of their situation, etc. I think what the demon says sums up their situation pretty well. "What is hell but the total absense of hope?" I'm not an expert in the subject, but a good portion of teenagers that run from home leave one bad situation for another. "Many teenage runaways leave home in search of safety and freedom from what they consider abusive treatment, whether physical, sexual, or emotional." (Look I did research!) They also leave to try to find a better situation. Buffy wasn't doing any of these things. She has several people at home that love her and treat her well. As Sarah stated above, Buffy was running from herself and as we see when she is in "hell", she is able to reclaim who she truly is. I feel like this song needs to be playing during Buffy's runaway scenes.
- Favorite Lines:
Cordelia: What's the plan?
AX: The vampire attacks you.
Cordelia: And then what?
AX: The vampire kills you. We watch, we rejoice.