Episode 13: The I In Team

GUESS WHO'S BACK GUYS! With my room almost complete and the day off of work, I finally got the time to watch this episode and now it's time for this long awaited post. We should be back onto a normal posting schedule now. If anything changes, Kali or I shall let all three of you who read this blog know. And now, unto the post!

Season Four, Episode Thirteen

"The I in Team"

Now let's talk about sex baby.

We start off this episode with Willow, Xander, and Anya playing poker while all having sads about Buffy being absent. You see, since Buffy has a new boy toy, she doesn't hang out with the scoobies as much as she did before. Willow's sad greatly increases upon hearing Anya discuss what her and Xander like to do in the bedroom.

Xander gets embarrased and Willow becomes jealous that she isn't getting any. You may all be expecting me to inform Willow that I'd be happy to help rectify this problem, but I'm much classier than that, you see, so I shall refrain.

Now we move from one awkward scene to another with Buffy being watched by Riley and Walsh as she fights a demon. Riley tells Buffy how everyone loves her just as we see Walsh giving her a death stare. Looks like Riley is wrong about everyone loving her…

 “I don’t love Buffy Summers”

The next day at lunch, Buffy tells Willow about how popular she is amongst the commandos. Willow listens and then conveys her sad about Buffy not spending time with her. However, Buffy hears almost none of this since she’s too busy judging Riley for ordering only a twinkie for lunch! Buffy disccuses how he’s going to be punished and Willow has yet another sad saying that everyone’s getting spanked but her. Again, I would offer to help Willow with this problem, but I think she’s in good hands with Tara.

 Tara, please stop being shy and sex Willow up

And now it's time for the big moment where Buffy is introduced to something very near and dear to Riley. He asks if she's ready for it, and she says that she is. He finally shows her and she comments saying that he said it was big but he never said it was huge. He admits that he didn't want to brag about it's size. Obviously he's talking about the initiative. Get your minds out of the gutter, people!

Riley is very fond of his...*cough* Initiative headquarters

After taking the grand tour of Riley's penis  the Initiative, if off to debriefing where they all learn about the big bad they have to fight. Walsh and her minions discuss how they can't kill or harm the demon's large arms that have huge pointy sticks attached to them and Buffy raises her hand to ask why the hell they can't attack the demon's pain causing arms. Everyone tells her to shut up and she loses ten points from Gryffindor.

***

Forrest complains about losing his lover Riley to a girl. I guess they kissed and he thought they'd be together forever...but they're not. (By the way, if you aren't understanding half of these references, go watch A Very Potter Musical) However, Riley is doing quite well right now with his girl since Buffy has decided to test out Faith's slay-then-play theory by sleeping with Riley after their non-slayage action.

And while they get their freak on, like a creeper, Walsh watches them

 "I can't get my own action so I need to watch my students go at it"

After a night of screwing, Buffy returns home to see that she isn't the only one who spent the night out. Willow comes in a few seconds later and they have this conversation.

Buffy: I see your bed is made which means you weren't here all night...

Willow: It looks like you weren't here either

Buffy: Yes, but I was off having hot and kinky sex. What were you doing?

Willow: Same activities, only not with a partner of the opposite gender

Buffy: WHAT?!

Willow: Um, nevermind, forget I said anything. I'll tell you in a few episodes...

Walsh joins in on the I-Want-To-Sleep-With-Riley bandwagon. However, while Buffy actually sleeps with him and Forrest discusses the grossness of girls to get over his sad, she takes the crazy route by deciding to kill Buffy off in order to score with him. Maybe she should read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire/Order of the Phoenix and listen to Hank Green's song about Harry and Cho to see how this isn't the best way to get him into bed with her...

To accomplish her goal, Walsh sends Buffy off on a mission while Riley and the Beta team are off in search of Spike. Because of his lack of release for his pent up aggression while Riley's with Buffy, Forrest shot Spike with a tracker so he can use him for sex  because the Initiative needs to catch em all. Giles and the rest of the scoobies help Spike remove the tracker in exchange for cash while Buffy is in mortal danger.

She immediately recognizes the demons she's been sent to fight as some from the Initiative and she attempts to shoot them with the weapon Walsh gave her. Obviously it's faulty and she puts two and two together very quickly and realizes that Walsh sent her on this mission to kill her. But Walsh is very stupid, you see, and celebrates Buffy's death too soon by telling Riley WHILE THE SCREENS ARE STILL ON.

Buffy comes on the screen and informs Walsh of her stupidness and Riley runs away. Walsh shouts for him to come back because she wants to jump his bones.

"Riley, please come back and have sex with me! I haven't had any in a very long time!"

At this point my DVD player decided to become stupid and not allow me to watch the end of the episode. Since I've obviously never seen this episode before in my life, I frantically sent Kali a text asking how it ends to which I got this response: "Everyone dies. The end." So, I guess that's it folks. It's been great reblogging this series and I hope you enjoyed all 4 1/2 seasons of Buffy because there's no more. This is the end of the line for this series. This shouldn't be too shocking to anyone, I mean this show was created by Joss Whedon so obviously it had to end at a horrible and insanely irritating spot.

-Sarah

Kali's Notes:
- Ok, well I guess everyone doesn't really die, but Professor Walsh does. She goes to find comfort in her other sex-slave wannabe son creation Adam who is like Frankenstein's monster and has been pieced together from demons, human, and robots. Upon waking he calls Walsh "Mommy" and proceeds to stab her. You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that Joss Whedon has mommy issues, just sayin'.
- Buffy also informs rest of the Scoobies about the shadiness of the Initiative. So finally half-way through the season, we have our real "Big Bad" in the form of a government institution and its evil creation. Time to bring down The Man!