Season 4, Episode 14

"Goodbye Iowa"

We begin right where last episode left off, with Buffy discussing the situation involving the Initiative with rest of the Scoobies. While the gang is apparently a little shocked that a secret government agency is doing bad things, color me not surprised in the revelation. Spike points out that Buffy has tragic taste in men since Riley quite possible knew about all that was going on. Oh Spike, if you only knew how tragic it will become… Anyways, Giles questions why Professor Walsh tried to kill Buffy (as if being a mad scientist isn’t reason enough).

MUAHAHAHAHA

The gang is now preparing to fight looking for a place to run and hide. They decide on Xander’s basement so that way his mom can bring them Mountain Dew and Cheetos while they play Dungeons and Dragons. Riley busts through the door at Giles place to find out what happened. It’s clear that Riley’s world is falling apart beneath his feet. The woman that he works for and highly respects just tried to kill the woman he loves who happens to be hiding Hostile 17 who he wants to shag has been trying to recapture. Needless to say, shit ain’t going so well for Riley right now.

This makes Spike happy.

Now we cut to Adam, our new cyborg friend that happens to like skewering women and children. I’m going to quote an article I found instead of summarizing it because it’s good stuff. “This episode pays homage to Mary Shelley's Frankenstein and its warning about the dangers of scientific progress without adequate ethical safeguards. For example, like Frankenstein's monster, Adam approaches a boy in the woods. The boy is playing with a cyborg soldier action figure in the park, shortly before Adam - a genuine cyborg - kills him. In the scene that follows, Anya, Willow, and Buffy are watching Roadrunner cartoons in Xander's basement. As Wile E. Coyote's Acme technology once again backfires, Buffy complains, "That would never happen." Stevenson claims the irony is it does later happen: the Initiative's embrace of technology unfettered by moral guidance ultimately causes its own destruction.”

Good stuff, right? So we now go to everyone waking up in Xander’s basement and hilarity ensues. Giles is very cranky in the morning due to sleeping on a “beach ball” under a disco ball. So let me get this right… Giles spent the night at Xander’s… with two balls… ANYWAYS, Willow and Anya discuss with Buffy how “her life resists all things average.” I know how she feels. No matter how much you try for a normal, boring relationship, you end up in something crazy (although that is usually the fun part). Oh and-

“You can’t have Xander”

Xander turns on the TV where the newscaster is talking about the boy that was skewered and torn apart in the park. Buffy jumps out of bed to give a speech about saving the day, but:





Riley is still wandering aimlessly questioning his existence and everything he has ever believed in. Riley confides in Forest about Walsh trying to kill Buffy. Forest has a fit because he’s jealous that his boyfriend is spending all his time with Buffy and he doesn’t get any action anymore. The boys are interrupted when they are told that Professor Walsh is dead.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

Riley is on the right track by thinking the Polgara demon is responsible for Walsh’s murder. He’s got a big pair of brass ones because he goes against what he was told Washington commanded and tells the boys to suit up to go after this thing. Way to start thinking for yourself, Riley!

Well, except now you are kind of a jerk. Riley runs into Buffy at the crime scene and informs her of Professor Walsh’s death and asks if she’s happy now. Bad move, buddy. Buffy gets pissed, tells him she is going to find the Polgara demon to destroy it “And then you can stop asking me how happy all this death makes me.” BURN.

Willow stops by Tara’s to talk about “spells”. She tells Tara how she doesn’t just hang out with her for the “spells”, that she really enjoys Tara’s company. Tara smiles and says that she knows that, but also knows that Willow wants to do a “spell” right now. Then Tara says “I’ve been thinking about that last spell we did together all day”. I’m not making this up people. Sexual innuendos FTW. So, the spell Willow wants to perform will find a demon in a certain radius so that way they’ll know where the Polgara is located.

Buffy shows up at Willy’s bar in order to question him. Riley comes in and looks like a hot mess. He starts accusing Buffy and questioning her intentions. It’s obvious that something is wrong with Riley far beyond his world falling apart. Then OH SNAP.

 Someone’s got a case of the crazies.

 Buffy is able to calm Riley down after he pulls a gun on an innocent woman and takes him to Xander’s. Things are definitely getting worse and it appears that Riley is going though withdrawl symptoms. Riley has scratched his hand to the point where it’s bleeding so Buffy wraps her hairband around it. Aww…

Buffy comes up with a plan for her and Xander to infiltrate the Initiative. Now I’d like to take the opportunity to thank Anya for once again being the voice of reason when Buffy says Xander has “military experience”- “It’s not like he was in the ‘Nam. He was G.I. Joe for one night.” For anyone keeping track, that’s the 142^nd reference to Xander’s bullshit military experience. And if you are playing the Buffy drinking game, that’s a shot.

Now Willow and Tara are getting ready to perform a “spell”. Seriously guys, it’s not me putting in the sexual innuendos. Just watch this scene. The way Willow tells Tara about the spell is so seductive that I think a Mormon would want to have sex with her. I know Sarah does. However, while doing the spell, Tara fakes it and instead of blowing the powder on the spell, throws it under the bed. Unfortunately this won’t be explained until next season so too bad for you.

Buffy and Xander head to the Initiative and in order to get in the elevator lady need to perform a rentinal scan. Xander being the dolt he is states “I don’t want to see that!” Mind out of the gutter, Xander. Then of course Xander goes on to ask “Can I have sex with Riley, too?” I guess he was so turned on that he tries to make-out with Buffy to “maintain their cover”. Remember Anya’s warning, buddy!

Back at Xander’s basement, Riley is, I think the technical term is- FREAKING OUT. He pushes Willow over in order to escape and return to the Initiative to find Buffy. At the Initiative, Buffy overhears the doctors discussing the fact that the men have been being drugged through their food and are now going through withdrawls by not having it. Buffy confronts the head doctor about what they are doing to Riley. Riley arrives to find Buffy arguing with the doctor about what was in 314. This is were Riley proceeds to lose his shit about Professor Walsh.

“SHE’S A NICE LADY!”

 Buffy and him start to struggle when she yells that the answers to what was in 314 are here, they just need to find them. Adam decides to make it very clear what was in 314 and what he plans to do. We get some insight to the “Frankenstein’s Monster” theme where Adam is questioning not just what he is, but WHO he is and how the world works. He tells Riley about how Maggie Walsh has planned out everything for them including “how it ends”. Well that’s awfully ominous now isn’t it?

Riley and Buffy along with other Initiative members try to take on Adam, but have no affect on him whatsoever. He escapes and Riley is taken to a military hospital to be treated for withdrawl from the drugs he was being given by Professor Walsh. Buffy and Willow are discussing the situation with the Initiative and how Adam seems near unstoppable. They move on to how Riley’s whole world has been turned upside down by all of this when Buffy states that Riley has “nothing to hold on to”. That’s when we cut to Riley laying in his hospital bed in one of the sweetest moments in this season.

Aww… he’s holding on to the memory of Buffy. HOW CAN PEOPLE NOT LOVE RILEY?!

- Kali!

P.S. Just so you know, when I say "around noon", I really mean I'll be posting an hour and a half after that time. Blame Sarah for distracting me.

Sarah's Notes

In my defense, I distracted Kali for VERY IMPORTANT reasons pertaining to youtube videos she needed to watch. And yes, I very much would like to have sex with Willow. I'm done being classy; I WANT WILLOW TOO MUCH TO BE CLASSY!

I really don't have any notes apart from can you believe how sexy the Willow and Tara scene is?! Whenever I watch these episodes before their relationship, I find it hard to believe that ANYONE didn't see this shit coming.

"Can we have sex now?"

 

"I'd be offended if we didn't."

Raise your hand if you're jealous of Tara...

Episode 13: The I In Team

GUESS WHO'S BACK GUYS! With my room almost complete and the day off of work, I finally got the time to watch this episode and now it's time for this long awaited post. We should be back onto a normal posting schedule now. If anything changes, Kali or I shall let all three of you who read this blog know. And now, unto the post!

Season Four, Episode Thirteen

"The I in Team"

Now let's talk about sex baby.

We start off this episode with Willow, Xander, and Anya playing poker while all having sads about Buffy being absent. You see, since Buffy has a new boy toy, she doesn't hang out with the scoobies as much as she did before. Willow's sad greatly increases upon hearing Anya discuss what her and Xander like to do in the bedroom.

Xander gets embarrased and Willow becomes jealous that she isn't getting any. You may all be expecting me to inform Willow that I'd be happy to help rectify this problem, but I'm much classier than that, you see, so I shall refrain.

Now we move from one awkward scene to another with Buffy being watched by Riley and Walsh as she fights a demon. Riley tells Buffy how everyone loves her just as we see Walsh giving her a death stare. Looks like Riley is wrong about everyone loving her…

 “I don’t love Buffy Summers”

The next day at lunch, Buffy tells Willow about how popular she is amongst the commandos. Willow listens and then conveys her sad about Buffy not spending time with her. However, Buffy hears almost none of this since she’s too busy judging Riley for ordering only a twinkie for lunch! Buffy disccuses how he’s going to be punished and Willow has yet another sad saying that everyone’s getting spanked but her. Again, I would offer to help Willow with this problem, but I think she’s in good hands with Tara.

 Tara, please stop being shy and sex Willow up

And now it's time for the big moment where Buffy is introduced to something very near and dear to Riley. He asks if she's ready for it, and she says that she is. He finally shows her and she comments saying that he said it was big but he never said it was huge. He admits that he didn't want to brag about it's size. Obviously he's talking about the initiative. Get your minds out of the gutter, people!

Riley is very fond of his...*cough* Initiative headquarters

After taking the grand tour of Riley's penis  the Initiative, if off to debriefing where they all learn about the big bad they have to fight. Walsh and her minions discuss how they can't kill or harm the demon's large arms that have huge pointy sticks attached to them and Buffy raises her hand to ask why the hell they can't attack the demon's pain causing arms. Everyone tells her to shut up and she loses ten points from Gryffindor.

***

Forrest complains about losing his lover Riley to a girl. I guess they kissed and he thought they'd be together forever...but they're not. (By the way, if you aren't understanding half of these references, go watch A Very Potter Musical) However, Riley is doing quite well right now with his girl since Buffy has decided to test out Faith's slay-then-play theory by sleeping with Riley after their non-slayage action.

And while they get their freak on, like a creeper, Walsh watches them

 "I can't get my own action so I need to watch my students go at it"

After a night of screwing, Buffy returns home to see that she isn't the only one who spent the night out. Willow comes in a few seconds later and they have this conversation.

Buffy: I see your bed is made which means you weren't here all night...

Willow: It looks like you weren't here either

Buffy: Yes, but I was off having hot and kinky sex. What were you doing?

Willow: Same activities, only not with a partner of the opposite gender

Buffy: WHAT?!

Willow: Um, nevermind, forget I said anything. I'll tell you in a few episodes...

Walsh joins in on the I-Want-To-Sleep-With-Riley bandwagon. However, while Buffy actually sleeps with him and Forrest discusses the grossness of girls to get over his sad, she takes the crazy route by deciding to kill Buffy off in order to score with him. Maybe she should read Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire/Order of the Phoenix and listen to Hank Green's song about Harry and Cho to see how this isn't the best way to get him into bed with her...

To accomplish her goal, Walsh sends Buffy off on a mission while Riley and the Beta team are off in search of Spike. Because of his lack of release for his pent up aggression while Riley's with Buffy, Forrest shot Spike with a tracker so he can use him for sex  because the Initiative needs to catch em all. Giles and the rest of the scoobies help Spike remove the tracker in exchange for cash while Buffy is in mortal danger.

She immediately recognizes the demons she's been sent to fight as some from the Initiative and she attempts to shoot them with the weapon Walsh gave her. Obviously it's faulty and she puts two and two together very quickly and realizes that Walsh sent her on this mission to kill her. But Walsh is very stupid, you see, and celebrates Buffy's death too soon by telling Riley WHILE THE SCREENS ARE STILL ON.

Buffy comes on the screen and informs Walsh of her stupidness and Riley runs away. Walsh shouts for him to come back because she wants to jump his bones.

"Riley, please come back and have sex with me! I haven't had any in a very long time!"

At this point my DVD player decided to become stupid and not allow me to watch the end of the episode. Since I've obviously never seen this episode before in my life, I frantically sent Kali a text asking how it ends to which I got this response: "Everyone dies. The end." So, I guess that's it folks. It's been great reblogging this series and I hope you enjoyed all 4 1/2 seasons of Buffy because there's no more. This is the end of the line for this series. This shouldn't be too shocking to anyone, I mean this show was created by Joss Whedon so obviously it had to end at a horrible and insanely irritating spot.

-Sarah

Kali's Notes:
- Ok, well I guess everyone doesn't really die, but Professor Walsh does. She goes to find comfort in her other sex-slave wannabe son creation Adam who is like Frankenstein's monster and has been pieced together from demons, human, and robots. Upon waking he calls Walsh "Mommy" and proceeds to stab her. You know, I'm starting to get the feeling that Joss Whedon has mommy issues, just sayin'.
- Buffy also informs rest of the Scoobies about the shadiness of the Initiative. So finally half-way through the season, we have our real "Big Bad" in the form of a government institution and its evil creation. Time to bring down The Man!

Season 4, Episode 12

First and foremost, thanks everyone for being so understanding about me taking a week off. After a near nervous breakdown on Saturday, I’ve figured out how to balance things out better and to make time for the things that I want to do and not just focus on the things I have to do. I also learned that food and sleep are important, especially when you are lacking in both! To make up for my absence, I present you with:

 

“A New Man”

Rewrittten by: Kali Waddilove

Scene: Buffy and Riley are getting hot and heavy on Buffy’s bed in her dorm room.

Riley: You said Willow was going to be gone all night?

Buffy: Yeah, she’s been gone a lot lately. I’m sure she’s just studying and not having a secret lesbian love affair.

Riley: Ooo, all this talk of lesbian love affairs is getting me turned on.

Buffy: Oh Riley, I want your big, beefy man stick inside of me.

Willow bursts in the door.

Willow: Buffy! Evil is afoot! We must kill all the things!

They run down the hall and enter a darkened room.

Everyone: SURPRISE!

Willow: It’s a surprise party for your birthday!

Buffy: I was about to get laid. I hate you forever.

Opening credits

Scene: Everyone is hanging out at Buffy’s party. Giles is the creepy old guy standing in the corner. Xander and Anya walk up to Giles.

Xander: This is one swinging party.

Giles: This reminds me of this one time where I was attending a magic school and all the ghosts threw a party for one of the other ghosts Deathday-

Anya: I am so bored with this story I might just die.

Xander: Honey, you have to be nice to people or we can’t play “Tickle the Pole” later.

Giles: I need a Scotch.

Xander and Anya walk away. Buffy brings Riley up to Giles to introduce them.

Buffy: Giles, this is my hot and sexy boyfriend Riley.

Riley: Hello, sir. So you are retired and completely useless now I hear?

Giles: Well… I-

Buffy: Isn’t he just the hottest man ever, Giles?

Giles: Um…

Buffy: And he works for the smartest woman in the world. She is seriously better and smarter in everyway possible than anyone I know. She would never even be seen hanging out with us because that is how much better she is than anyone in this room.

Giles: This is a college party, why is there not more alcohol?

Scene: Riley is bringing Buffy home to “mom” aka Professor Walsh to introduce her as the Slayer.

Professor Walsh: So you’re the Slayer I hear?

Buffy: Yup pretty much.

Professor Walsh: Well with all of our super high-tech equipment, my boy Riley has killed or captured 17 hostiles.

Buffy: That’s… great… I use a sharpened stick and have killed 17 vampires in one fight. I’m a boss like that.

Riley: Wow, I thought saving the world was a big thing for you, but you seem so do it every week almost as if you are on some sort of schedule.

Buffy: I know, it’s kinda weird. Especially how things are always calm during the summer, but I seem to take on some really big evil that has been trying to attack me all year in May.

Riley: That is awfully strange. I just can’t believe how super amazing and strong you are.

Buffy: You should see the things I can do in bed. One involves a clown costume, 3 ducks, and Hello Kitty doll.

Riley: …

Scene: Giles goes to visit Professor Walsh to talk to her about Buffy. And because he has no friends.

Giles: Buffy has talked a lot about you.

Professor Walsh: Who are you?

Giles: I’m … her old librarian.

Professor Walsh: Uh-huh. Well, Buffy is very bright. She just lacks encouragement and has no strong male role model in her life.

Giles: Wha?

Professor Walsh: Yes, and she definitely has never been taught anything correctly. It’s a good thing that I’m here now to show her the way.

Giles: (under his breath) Fuck you and the broom you rode in on.

Professor Walsh: I’m sorry?

Giles: Oh I was just wondering if you knew where Buffy was?

Professor Walsh: I have no idea. I’m sorry, but I actually have a life and I need to get to work now so kindly GTFO.

Giles: I hope a bar is open this early.

Scene: Giles gets Willow and Xander in order to investigate a crypt where a demon is supposed to rise.

Giles: This demon is supposed to rise at sunset, but we might make it in time.

Willow: Well maybe Riley and the other Initiative guys already cleared the place out.

Giles: Who did the what with the huh?

Xander: Well… you know… Buffy’s boyfriend? And his commando buddies?

Giles: WHAT?! Why did nobody tell me this?

Willow: Well, we were going to… you’re next on the list after Spike.

Giles: Spike knows?!?!?! Who else?

Xander: Well Anya of course. And the mailman. And that guy that sells oranges on the street corner.

Willow: But no one else! Professor Walsh says it needs to be a secret.

Giles: Professor Walsh?! What does that bitch have anything to do with this?

Willow: Well, she kind of runs the whole Initiative since she is so amazing and awesome and stuff.

Giles: Just go… leave me to sit here alone and drink my bottle of Scotch that I brought with- I mean, keep watch.

Willow and Xander leave.

Giles: Sod it all, I’m going home.

Giles goes to exit.

Ethan Rayne steps out from the shadows.

Ethan: Muahahahaha. I have a super evil plan that is going to get you and totally don’t know about-

Giles: Who’s there?!

Ethan: Oh shit!

Giles: You! I’m totally going to kick your ass.

Ethan: But I am here to warn you about the super-bad thing that is about to happen!

Giles: Ugh, bollocks. I need a drink.

Ethan and Giles go to get a drink.

Ethan: So rumor is, something is capturing demons and experimenting on them in a place called 314.

Giles: That is crazy enough to be believable.

Many, many drinks later…

Giles: That bloody bint Maggie Walsh can sod off. She thinks she’s so high and mighty. I’m the one that’s been fighting demons for 20 years. I’m the one trained by the Watcher’s Council. I’ve helped save the world countless times!

Ethan: Yeah, we should go beat that bag up. Well, after I get with this waitress that’s been eying me.

Waitress: Ew. Go away you creepy old man.

Giles: Ha, rejected. Oh God, I’m getting so old. I’m all alone and have nothing to show for my life.

Ethan: Cheer up, old chap. We are still sorcerers and the night is full of magic.

Giles: Are we talking about magic-magic or gay-sex?

Scene: Willow is over at Tara’s so they can perform a “spell” together.

Willow: For this spell, we are going to float a rose and very slowly and gently pluck the petals off.

Tara: That sounds nice.

Willow: Take my hands. Our minds have to be linked for the spell to work.

Tara: I think the spell also calls for our bodies to be intertwined.

Willow: Ok, you’re the one that has more experience than me so I’ll let you take the lead.

Tara gently lays Willow down on the floor so they can perform the “spell”.

Tara: Close your eyes and concentrate.

Willow: I’ve never done this spell before. I’m not sure what to do.

Tara: Just relax and I’ll talk you through everything.

They get close to each other in order to concentrate on the “spell”.

Willow: I think the rose is floating.

Tara: Your rose is beautiful.

Sarah: KALI! This is not a fan fic! Behave yourself!

Kali: FINE!

The spell goes wonky and the rose explodes. End scene.

Kali: Happy now?!

Scene: Giles wakes up the next morning and has been turned into a demon by Ethan.

Giles: That’s the last time I do body shots off Ethan.

Giles head over to Xander’s to ask for help, not knowing that he is speaking the demon language.

Giles: Rawr gobble roar berp glarp.

Xander: *screams like a woman*

Giles: Bloody hell!

Giles runs away. He cuts through the cemetery and runs into Spike.

Spike: Well hello there demon. I think I’m itching for a fight.

Giles: Oh great, a perfect end to a perfect day.

Spike: Giles? Why are you a demon? I’m not thinking it’s a good look for you, mate.

Giles: I had a late night with some guy and woke up like this.

Spike: That’s why you should always use protection, Giles.

Giles: Oh shut it. Will you help me?

Spike: What’s in it for me?

Giles: Um… sexual favors?

Spike: Sounds good, but only once you’re human again.

Giles: Deal.

Scene: Xander rounds up the gang and heads over to Giles place. They discover the door off the hinges, furniture knocked around and Giles shirt ripped to shreds.

Anya: It appears that Giles has been eaten by this demon.

Buffy: I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding, right?

Willow: Yeah, Giles and the demon were probably just fighting over who looked better in that shirt.

Anya: Think whatever you want, but you are going to find bits of Giles in some demon’s poop tomorrow, mark my words.

Riley bursts in the door.

Riley: I am here to help because I am a helpful Hufflepuff!

Xander: If you were a good Hufflepuff, you’d find Giles. If you can’t do that, then get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

Riley: I don’t find that to be very amusing Xander. This is a serious situation. Now I’m going to go see if Professor Sprout knows anything and have some pizza with Justin Finch-Fletchley.

Scene: Spike is driving Giles around in order to help him.

You'll never understand our love.

Giles: Don’t put it into third gear if you can’t find third gear!

Spike: If you tell me what to do one more time I will pull this car over!

Giles: You always do this. I am just giving you helpful advice and you take it the wrong way.

Spike: You are not helping! You are criticizing me! First it was about cleaning the house, now you are telling me how to drive!

Giles: Well maybe I wouldn’t be so cranky if you took me out to nice places more!

Spike: Well I wouldn’t be so pissy if you gave me some loving once in awhile!

Giles: Stop yelling at me and watch the road!

Spike: Don’t tell me what to do!

Giles: Wait hold on! There’s that bitch! Pull over.

RAWR!

Giles gets back in the car. Spike and him high-five. They head to the bar where Giles and Ethan were drinking and discover the motel he is staying at.

Buffy and Riley go to search places for Giles. They check out the magic shop.

Riley: Look what I found! It’s a piece of paper!

Buffy: It’s a receipt for Ethan Rayne. He must be behind this. Let’s head to this motel.

Riley: You want to go to a motel? Now? I’m all for it, but shouldn’t we be looking for Giles?

Buffy: Oh honey, you’re really sexy but not too bright.

Riley: (smiles) Thank you!

Giles jumps out of the car while Spike drives away letting the commandos follow him instead. Buffy and Riley head over to Ethan’s motel room too.

Ethan: Look! It’s the demon that killed Giles. Kill it!

Buffy fights Giles not knowing that he is the demon. She stabs him but looks into his eyes realizing that the demon is in fact Giles. Luckily she didn’t harm him.

Almost killing Giles gives me crazy-eye.

Riley: Hey guys, I found a quarter!

Ethan returns Giles to normal. Riley sends for the commandos to take Ethan and hide him away forever. Giles does his happy dance.

Buffy: Thank you so much Riley for all that you did. How can I ever repay you?

Riley: I can think of a few things. *wink wink*

Buffy goes over to Giles place to have a nice father-daughter talk.

Giles: Honey, I’m concerned about this boy you are seeing.

Buffy: But he is so sexy and has abs of steal!

Giles: This organization he works for doesn’t seem trustworthy. We don’t know much about them.

Buffy: But Giles… have you seen his ass?

Giles: Just keep an eye out, will you? Ethan may be untrustworthy, but he has no reason to lie about demons being worried about this 314.

Buffy: Oh I’ll keep an eye on him all right.

Giles: *facepalm* Where's the bloody Scotch?

Scene: Riley and Professor Walsh are discussing how everything turned out and talk about Buffy’s role.

Riley: She’s the prettiest girl in the whole wide world. Everything is like rainbows and puppy dogs.

Professor Walsh: (under her breath) I will kill her before she can lay a hand on my boy.

Riley: What was that?

Professor Walsh: Nothing. Now go to the infirmary and pick yourself up a lollipop for being such a good boy!

Riley: Yay!

Professor Walsh looks both directions to make sure everything is gone and goes through a hidden door labeled “314”.

DUN DUN DUNNNNN.

- Kali! 

Episode 11: Doomed

BLOGSPOT LIKES ME AGAIN, GUYS! Here is the long overdue post for...

Season Four, Episode Eleven

"Doomed"

We open just where we left off: Riley and Buffy need to talk. Obviously, this means they decide to have a staring contest that last about 5 minutes.

After Riley loses, he asks the question every girl freams of being asked by a guy: "What are you?"

"Capricorn on the cusp if Aquarius, you?"

She tells him that she's the Slayer and he doesn't know what that is. This starts the main theme of this episode: can they or can't they? Buffy wants some time apart from Riley because she's afraid she'll have another Angel situation on her hands and she'll need to, at some point, stab Riley with a sword and send him to hell because she'll have sex with him and he'll go all evil and lose his soul and then the entire world will end. To sum up the situation, Buffy freaks out insanely.

And it's not just Riley that she freaks out about. There's also an earthquake and she freaks out about that too, just because she died the last time there was an earthquake. I mean, talk about overexaggerating!
The next scene we see the second issue dealt with in this episode: Spike's epic sadness and lack of identity. Living with Xander, he begins to feel as useless as Xander's been feeling. He's a vampire but everything that makes a vampire a vampire he can't do, so what does that make him? The answer is sexy He has no purpose. Much like how Buffy felt in Helpless when she lost her Slayer strength, Spike has lost a huge part of his identity and is struggling to cope.

These topics are too heavy, let's party and forget about all the woes of some of our beloved characters! GIF PART-AY!

This gif party is also a celebration of blogspot allowing Sarah to FINALLY post pictures!

At this awesome party, Willow runs into Percy and his date. They talk for a bit, until his whore  date gets angry at him for talking to her since Willow is obviously much hotter than she is

Willow then overhears Percy call her a nerd! And she gets upset so she goes to lay down next to dead 'I-have-a-weird-symbol-cut-into-my-chest' guy

 Does this look like the CBS logo to anyone else?

Okay, so until we get to more main issues, we're just going to do some fun bullet points:

*Spike shrunk his clothes and is dressed like a Hawaiian tourist

*Willow tells Buffy about the dead guy and the fact that Percy called her a nerd!

* "She's all-temperature Buffy" I enjoy liking Forrest. It won't last much longer

*Why does Willow not want to be a nerd? It makes me sad ;_;

*Apparently CBS is going to destroy the world
*Buffy tries telling Riley that she can't do this (meaning dating him) again. To which he says "Again? You dated me before?" Sorry, Buffy, but you're kinda talking to Riley, not Angel. I don't at all understand the confusion. I mean, they have tons of similarities: 1) they both have a Y chromosome, 2) they're both mostly heterosexual, 3) they both...exist? Yeah, nevermind, they don't have much in common at all. Based off of this list I've created I could also say that Riley is like the Pope and be right.

Back to notes:

*Spike tries to stake himself

 “Good bye, Dru.  See you in hell.”

*Spike is awesome.

Willow:  “We can’t leave him here like this!  We’ll have to take him with us to the museum.”
Spike:  “Oh, you go on.  I won’t do anything.  I feel better now. Promise.”
Xander:  “Think of the happy.  If we don’t find what we’re looking for, we face an apocalypse.”
Spike:  “Really?  You’re not just saying that?”
*"No, I mean you're stupid" Great start, Riley

Spike:  “ I just don’t want pity from geeks more useless than I am.”
Willow:  “We’re not useless!  We – we help people.  We fight the forces of evil!”
Spike:  “Buffy fights the forces of evil.  You’re her groupies.  She’d do just as well without you – better I’d wager, since she wouldn’t have to go about saving your hides all the time.”
Xander:  “That is no not true!  We’re part of the team.  She needs us.”
Spike:  “Or you’re just the same tenth grade losers you’ve always been, and she’s too much of a softy to cut you lose.”
*"oh-as usual-dear" Giles owns the word of valios xD

*It's time to go back to high school, guys!
*Spike can attack demons without getting hurt

*Riley shows up!

*Riley puts a leash on Buffy so she can get back out of the hellmouth once she
catches the demon

*Spike's accent to throw Riley off is awesome

*“What’s this?  Sitting around watching the telly while there’s evil still a foot.  (Turns the TV off)  That’s not very industrious of you.  I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can’t go without your Buffy, is that it?  To chicken?  Let’s find her!  She is the Chosen One after all.  – Come on!  Vampires!  Grrr!  Nasty!  Let’s annihilate them.  For justice - and for - the safety of puppies – and Christmas, right?  Let’s fight that evil!  -  Let’s kill something!   Oh, come on!” (Favorite Line)

OKAY, so now back to the main issues that we spoke of before!

1) Buffy and Riley: Buffy is very jaded and liked Riley because he was "normal." Now that she knows he's a commando, she's freaked and sees another Angel. However, on the other side, Riley, we can assume by his actions, isn't as jaded and sees this as another commonality between them. This dynamic changes when he runs into them all at the school and isn't cool secret agent guy with Willow and Xander. He can't come up with a good lie and they know who he is and that freaks him out. Basically, they both freak out about the idea of being in a relationship with one another and how the idea of them forming a "we" hurts his and her life as a "me."

2) Spike is just hysterical. As mentioned, he lacks an identity so he does every stereotypical thing to make himself feel better. He tries to commit suicide (and says goodbye to Drusilla, who dumped him, before the act!) and  he tells Willow and Xander how useless they both are. In the end though, he finds his place when realizing he can beat up demons. They mention in the special features how Spike is just violent and wants to fight so he doesn't care that demons are the only prey he can attack now. This then becomes the foundation onto which Spike can rebuild an identity for himself. For once, not as a boyfriend, and as a fighter for "good."

-Sarah

Kali’s Notes:

- Spike and Xander also make quite the odd couple. Xander telling him to do laundry and do his part around the house is freaking classic. Spike trying to hit him with a wrench afterward is also hysterical.

- "Don't turn around... don't look at me"

LOL

- "It's just doomed" Buffy's reaction to finding out that Riley works for a secret government agency is both good and bad. It's good that when she recognizes that a possible relationship is most likely doomed, she actually walks away from it for once instead of running towards it with arms wide open. However, this time she is actually mistaken. Yes there will be difficulties with this relationship (but that can be said for any and all relationships) and yes Riley isn't the "average Joe" that you thought he was. But really, he is much more suited to deal with who Buffy really is than the average man anyway. Truth is, Buffy is afraid so she's trying to run when things get real.

- Spike trying to stake him self is actually pretty funny. One, he's not very smart or isn't serious about wanting to die. It's daylight out. You could totally just walk outside and die, I'm just saying. I do feel bad for Spike though. He's going to be dealing with this for a couple seasons- he's not a man, but he can't be a vampire. Plus, he's worse off than Angel because he doesn't have a soul so he still has all of his vampire urges but without a conscience holding him back, just one of those zapper dog collars.

- "There's nothing more dangerous than a Psych grad student." You hear that Sarah?

- Man I love Riley here. He isn't afraid to tell Buffy how it is. He's willing to fight for her because he thinks she's worth it and that she is just afraid. Spot on, Riley.

- Fun Fact: The page where Giles discovers the picture of the Word of Valios contains verses from Ezekiel 30 of the King James Bible edition.

- Spike may not be able to physically hurt people, but he can sure enjoy inflicting emotional pain like he's so good at. We see him do this throughout the season. Without Cordelia, he fills the role of pointing out all the things that are wrong or stupid (as does Anya).

- We're going back to school, guys! "Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts..."

- Aww, Xander rescues Spike. Not only are they keeping him from killing himself, but he actually SAVES HIM.

- After Spike discovers that he can hit demons, this renews his will to go on and now wants to fight evil and save the day. "For justice and for the safety of puppies... and Christmas! Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something!... Oh, come on!" This all pretty much translates to: "I need to work off all this sexual frustration by beating on something besides myself".

In Which Blogspot Makes Sarah REALLY ANGRY

This is insane. Yesterday, I asked Kali to check to see if she could add pictures once she got wifi and we had this conversation:

Kali: It let me add it just fine. You must be retarded.
Sarah:  SWEAR TO GOD IT HASN'T LET ME ALL FREAKING DAY!!!
Kali: Everything worked perfect for me. It must hate you.
Sarah: But I was nice to it and gave it a cookie :(
Kali: That brings me back to you being retarded then

The post is sitting here, completely done and I can't post it because where funny pictures and gifs should be, there are only links for me to use once blogspot is nice and allows me to use the adding pictures thingy again.

I swear I'm not stupid! I even took a picture of the screen it is showing me whenever I try. I would show you this picture but BLOGSPOT WON'T LET ME ADD PICTURES!

*Sigh* So, once again, I work until 5:30 and then I will try again to see if I can add pictures. The second I do, this post will go up. Even if it isn't 10am or if it's Sunday. It WILL go up!

Sincerely,
A very upset wit with a sad that won't go away until blogspot allows her to add funny pictures and gifs

Hush

For Hush, we present... A VIDEO RECAP! I'm pretty happy with how well it turned out. Sarah drew the hilarious pictures and found some screencaps and clips, and I obviously did the video of myself and edited it all together. Hope you enjoy!

EDIT: The pictures are a bit hard to read in the video, so I'm posting them up here (once blogger stops being a jerk and allows me to add pictures to this post)

Episode 9: Something Blue

Season Four, Episode Nine

"Something Blue"

Dear Journal,

I can't get over my sad. I just don't understand why Oz had to leave like he did. He said that he thought Veruca was right about the wolf inside of him and that he had to go and be alone. This is just so stupid. I mean, he's been a werewolf for a few years now and he was handling it, we were handling it; what right does Veruca have to tell him what is or isn't apart of him? She's a poop head., that's what she is!

I just want him back; I feel so lost without him. I'm trying really hard to deal but it's hard...What's making it more difficult is all of my friends are happy right now and I'm just a big downer. Buffy has Riley who isn't making her miserable and Xander (unfortunately) has Anya. I'm trying to be happy for both of them, but I can't help hurting over Oz.

I'm not doing horribly though, I'm still here at Giles' place offering to help him and Buffy with Spike. It's really hard, though. I can tell that everyone is sick and tired of be being mopey, depressed Willow and I don't want to be her either. I want to be fun and happy Willow but I can't get over my sad.

Now that I've offered o help Giles with a spell tomorrow, I can leave and go see if Oz came back to his place. He said he just needed some time so maybe he's had enough. Maybe I'll go to his room and he'll be there waiting for me. He'll say that he just got in and was about to go find me, how he's so glad that I came. Then we'll kiss and make love and everything will be alright again!

I...I don't understand. How can all of his stuff be gone. Does this mean he's not coming back? Why wouldn't he tell me? Is he safe, where is he? How can he just take off and leave me here to suffer? With him gone, it feels like I was ripped in two and half of me is lost. I need him.

~~~~~~

I can't keep being alone, I need Buffy. Oh, I forgot she had her picnic with Riley today. They had apples and I interupted them. They look happy. Oz and I were happy too, ya know? Soon he's probably going to break her heart just like Oz did to me. I hate everyone with a y chromosome,they're all the same.

~~~~~

You know what? Screw him! I don't need Oz to be happy. I can have beer and I can dance. I'll dance my troubles away! Oh, look, my friends, they can come dance with me! They just can't know I'm drunk---

Uh-oh...Now Xander is saying how "we all have pain." What does he know. Oh, he lives in a basement, big deal! And Buffy wants to take my home so I "still have a friend in the morning." They don't get it, I just want all of this to go away. I want to just wake up and not be in all of this pain. Wait a second, I'm a witch! I can totally solve this problem by doing a spell!

~~~~

I will my sad to go away...

Why did that not work?

I will this Q-tip become unbendy...?

Ugh, nothing working. I'm such a bad witch.

And now Giles is here to tell me that I'm neglecting my responsibilities. Can't every one see that I'm trying really hard? They all tell me that I need to just get through this but they don't want to hear me mope and have my sad. I tell Giles about my spell going wrong and he scolds me saying I shouldn't practice magic while I'm grieving because my "energy's too unfocused." Who's he to tell me what I should and shouldn't do? He says that he sees my side but he doesn't see anything.

"Well, this is weird. I can't see anything..."

~~~~

Ugh, I'm such a bad witch. Why can't I just be powerful like Amy? She has access to powers I can't even invoke. Well, at least I have Buffy here to keep me company; we can have a girl's night.

Spike got out, gotta go find him.

He's harmless, why couldn't she stay with me? Besides she'll probably find him in two seconds...

"When did I become a Hufflepuff...?"

~~~~~~

Fine, if Buffy can't make friends her priority, I'll just go to Xander. He lives in a basement so there's no way he'll have plans. But he's taking her side! If she needs Spike so much, why doesn't she just marry him?

"Giles, aren't you happy that Spike purposed to me? He's such a great guy and we're so perfect together and we have really hot and kinky sex "

~~~~

And who's he to say that I'll meet someone else and it'll be better? I mean, look at the winners my friends pick, maybe all relationships are just doomed to fail and go horribly wrong. And if he wants to argue that, just look at his bio: Insect Lady, Mummy Girl, Anya...he's a demon magnet.

"Why are we being attacked by demons? I wonder if this has anything to do with Willow calling me a 'demon magnet'..."

~~~~~

What does this demon mean that he heard my call? Maybe I should try for a quieter rage next time...And now he's talking about the pain I've caused. What is he tal---

What have I done? I didn't mean to; I have to help them! I don't wanna be a demon, I just want to get over my sad and help my friends.

"Pity...Well, here's my talisman in case you change your mind. And also, this keychain that says 'my friend was called upon to be a vengence demon and all they brought me was this lousy keychain.' If any of your friends survive, you can give this to one of them..."

~~~~~

"Let the healing power begin. Let my will be safe again. As these words of peace are spoken, let this harmful spell be broken."

~~~~~~

Anya: How long are you going to keep making these?
Willow: Oh, until I don't feel so horribly guilty. I figure about a million chips from now. Also, I have to detail Giles' car

Willow: Eat a cookie; ease my pain?

Buffy: (Takes one, taking a bite) Mm. Better?
Willow: Well, baking lifts about 30% of my guilt, but only 7% of my inner turmoil. Guess that'll just take awhile.

I can haz cookie?

~~~~~

I've learned my lesson. This is the last time I'll ever use magic to solve my problems.

-Willow



Kali’s Notes:

- Buffy has seriously disturbed emotional problems. Buffy admits to Willow that she feels "real love and passion have to go hand in hand with pain and fighting", and questions if a normal relationship can have the same sort of intensity. This feeling will carry her through several more seasons... actually pretty much until the end of the show. Like I said, being the Slayer really affects Buffy's life in every aspect and we really see that when it comes to her relationships.

- Can I keep Spike chained in my bathtub too?

- "Giles help! He's gonna scold me!"- Buffy

- Again, Spike being a romantic and a poet, he can see into the human soul better than others and really see how they are feeling and who they are. Willow is putting on a brave face, but he sees through it and informs rest of the gang that they are idiots because she's not dealing with Oz leaving well and is in pain.

- Giles and Spike are effing hilarious together. Seriously, they should have their own show over Angel.

Spike: “Passions" is on! Timmy's down a bloody well and if you make me miss it I'll –

Giles: You'll what? Lick me to death?

- Ok, I'm saying this once and for all- Riley is awesome. I don't get why people dislike him when he is obviously superior to Angel in every way possible. How sweet is he to invite Willow to join their picnic? It's obvious that they are on a date and things are getting pretty romantic, but he sees that she's hurting so he asks her to join to try and cheer her up. Riley FTW.

- Willow is going further down the road of using magic to try to solve all of her problems. And again there are always consequences to those actions.

- Even before Willow's spell goes aray, there is obvious sexual tension between Buffy and Spike.

- The scene where Buffy and Spike discuss wedding plans while Giles goes blind is so freaking funny, it should be shown every week. Spike attempting to help Giles and Giles ending the scene with "It's alright, I have more Scotch" made me pee a little.

- (Discussing her name being strange) Buffy: What's wrong with Buffy? Giles: Such a good question.

- Since I notice these things, Anya cut her hair! Like me, she tends to change the color and cut just about every episode.

- Again, Buffy is seriously disturbed. It doesn't take the fact that Angel went evil after having sex with her and tried to kill all her friends, came back, dumped her, and left town to make her realize that bad boys aren't all they are cracked up to be. Only after being "engaged" to Spike did she realize this and that was under the influence of a spell. Buffy, please seek help.