Tuesday, December 14, 2010

FIRST!!1!!1!1!!11111111

Episode I: The Phantom Menace Welcome to the Hellmouth

Hello! My name is...God
Before I start reviewing the pilot episode, let me first introduce myself to you. I'm Sarah and one of the two wits that runs this blog. My friend Kali and I basically decided to start this up because we're both hilarious and enjoy Joss Whedon. I first watched Buffy (or any Whedon show, for that matter) last year. I know, it's horrifying. My friend Ryan sat me down and told me I had to watch it and the next week, over winter break, I finished the series. All seven seasons. After that, I rewatched Buffy a lot and then started my next Joss show (Angel) over the summer. After that was Firefly and then Dollhouse. So I am pretty well versed in Whedon now even though I wasn't aware of his brilliance prior to last year.

Anyways, on that note, I shall now start with the main event. So sit back, relax, and enjoy my recap of...



Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Season One
"Welcome to the Hellmouth"

So the beginning part freaked me out when I first watch it (because I'm a huge wimp.) I also thought it was kind of cheesy. I kept thinking "this is so obvious, the guy's a vampire and this girl's going to be killed; how predict--OMG WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!?" Obviously Joss didn't do the obvious, how dare I assume he would do anything less than amazing? I quickly learned my lesson...

*Opening credits* Everyone looks so insanely young. This is very strange. I normally rewatch the later seasons so I'm so used to them not looking like this.

The Dream: Okay, so I have to rant a bit about this. I really don't like dream sequences very much but having it at the very beginning like this and mentioning it at different points in the episode (as I will point out later) makes it seem like these dreams are going to be a much bigger deal than they really are. I can probably count on one hand the number of times dreams play a significance in how Buffy, or other Slayers *cough* Faith *cough*, know that things are coming. I just don't see the point of having it here but, then again, I'm not a director so what the hell do I know? It's not my job to create something better, my job is only to be sarcastic and mock about things that occur.

Joyce's voice sounds like the weirdest thing ever in this beginning part! It's so high pitch and strange. Like did anyone else notice this or is it just me?!

Anyways, let's not get caught up in how strange her voice is, we have to keep going so we can meet the love of my life.

Before we meet the girl of my dreams, however, I must fangirl over the school. This is actually my first time watching this episode since visiting Sunnydale High so I am squeeing over every moment and thinking "I touched that rail!", "I stood near that tree!", etc.! [/squeeing]

Xander on a skateboard, this is one of the funniest things ever. Thank god he never tried riding that again.

WE'RE FINALLY SEEING MY LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME! I SHALL FANGIRL MORE OVER WILLOW LATER!!

I never remember Jesse's existence; I wonder if he would have become an interesting character if he weren't killed within the next episode. Him and Xander seem too similar so my guess is that they both would have either seemed irritating because they would just overdue Xander's charm with two characters or they would have played off of each other and been hilarious. Any thoughts?

Principal Flutie taping her record back together. Nuff said.

Let's all just take a moment to laugh at Sarah's bangs. Her hair got much better as the show went on...

The 90's was a bad time for clothes. Every looks so ridiculous! The first time I watched it with my friend I kept making comments and everytime I said something he'd just say "Sarah, it's the 90's!" It's not their fault that they all dressed so horribly; everyone looked stupid in the 90's.

"Xander is me" He definitely had some good lines in this episode.

I'm skipping the whole classroom scene and making fun of the teacher for explainingthe "fun" part of the plague and going straight to Cordelia quizzing Buffy. This was a weird scene and a bit too cheesy. I feel like Cordelia had great lines in this episode (i.e. "What's your childhood trauma?" and "excuse me, I have to call everyone I have ever met right now.")  so this qeird quizzing thing was strange for me. However, I feel like it fits her character so whatever. It doesn't iritate me too much.

OMG LOOK AT WILLOW AGAIN!

I'm not even going to discuss how much I hate those girls saying "pos" and "neg" and "negly" in the locker room; it's way too easy to make fun of.

Lol at Willow telling Cordelia that Buffy wasn't hanging out with them when she walks in on all of them (Xander, Jesse, Willow, and Buffy) talking together. She's so adorable.

Giles Rant: It’s irritating that he asked Buffy if she could be sure that he wouldn’t rise; he should know! I get that we as an audience need to know but it’s like in DH1 when Harry asked what the trace was like a huge moron as a way for them to explain the trace to us. Can’t they just find another way to explain stuff to the audience without making such important characters sound like idiots? [/rant]

I love how epicly Giles started his Slayer speech and then Buffy interupts and just says "blah blah blah." This is just a perfect way to set up how their dynamic is through the rest of the series. Not to mention “A slayer slays, a watcher—“ “watches?” They are both so funny together.

The Master: Like I said, I just started watching Buffy last year so the Master was always kind of lame to me. I kept comparing him to Voldemort and he just seems really, really lame compared to him. He is definitely my least favorite villain.

I'm going to fast forward a bit past Angel's creeperness and the bouncer outside of the Bronze and jump straight to my love.

Willow: I'm going to attempt to contain myself as I continue blogging but to say the very least I am insanely in love with Willow. From the second she appeared on the screen, I adored her. She is just so cute and nerdy and *swoons* perfect....

Anyways, back to less adorable things.

Lol at Buffy saying that she really didn't like Angel.


"Who can tell me what foreshadowing is?"

"Having the nightmares" (See: dream rant)

Fast forward again to Darla and Thomas (that was the loser vampire's name, right?) with Jessie and Willow. I think this is one of the worst human to vampire trasitions ever. Darla's head like shrunk and it looked not believable at all and actually made me laugh. Again, they got way better as time went on, obviously.

The big annoying vampire guy is so stupid. He knows Buffy is the Slayer yet he's telling her ALL of the Master's plans. And to be continued? Are we really supposed to believe Buffy might die...?

I guess you all will have to tune in on Thursday to see if Buffy lives!

Sarah out.

PS: Kali and I are both going to post our favorite lines for each episode so here is mine.

Favorite Line: “When I’m with a boy I like it’s hard for me to say anything cool, or witty, or at all. I can make a few vowel sounds and then I have to go away” - Willow

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